For years Southwest Airlines used to declare itself "passionately neutral" about whether the Wright Amendment limiting its service to and from Dallas should be repealed. That phrase has come to mind a lot as the perfect way to describe how I feel about the gender of our second child.
It seems that parents are supposed to want one of each, so if the first child is a boy you should want a girl the next time, and vice-versa. And certainly, I'd be thrilled to welcome a daughter. But, I'd be equally excited to hear Kevin call out "it's a boy!" in the delivery room. Regardless of gender, this child will be his or her own person and have a unique personality. S/he will no doubt take after big brother Daniel in some ways and be totally different in others.
This baby will almost certainly be our last child, so if it's a second boy I won't get the chance to be the mother of a daughter. There are some experiences I will miss out on if I never have a girl like shopping for prom dresses, being mother of the bride, and finally learning how to do a French braid. And it occurred to me in November as election results came in how fun it would be to wake up a daughter in 2016, 2020, or 2024 so she can watch the first female president-elect give her victory speech.
But then I think about how much I love being the mother of a little boy and I know that a second boy would be a wonderful experience too. Sure, I'd miss out on some things not having a girl, but I'm not one of those women who feels like she has to have a daughter. Even as a little girl I was always the tomboy who was happy to get dirty playing with the boys so I wouldn't really miss the "girly-girl" stuff like a lot of women would. And for Daniel, he might bond more with a brother than he would with a sister. Certainly there are plenty of exceptions but in general it seems people are closer to same-sex siblings.
Certainly boys and girls have their differences but the truth is that there are plenty of things that will be the same regardless of our child's gender. Whether I have one of each or two boys, I want to make sure each of my children learns important life skills like how to cook, do laundry, change a flat tire, and jump start a car before s/he moves out of the house. I want them each to try sports and learn to play a musical instrument. I want to help them to learn about our faith, what we believe, and why we believe it, then give them the freedom to follow and express their own beliefs. I want to inspire in them a love of reading, a thirst for knowledge, and a lifelong drive for continual self-improvement. I want them to learn the sense of satisfaction and self-confidence that comes from setting big goals, working toward them over time, and then accomplishing them. I want them to know that there's nothing inherently feminine about being loving and sensitive to others' needs anymore than there's anything inherently masculine about being courageous or assertive. To sum it up, I want to empower my children, male or female, to run a business, run a household, or run a marathon.
So as I sit here just weeks away from meeting our new baby, I am excited to find out what we're having, but can honestly say I will be equally happy either way. I wondered if it would be hard to go through the whole pregnancy not knowing but it's been fun to be able to consider and imagine both possibilities. And it's fun to hear everyone's confident predictions and wild guesses (both of which stand the same 50% odds of being correct).
On a related note, I'll be putting together an online baby pool at some point for people to make their guesses as to gender, birth date, measurements, etc. No prize for the winner, just the satisfaction of being right. I'll post it once I do, so if you want to weigh in, you'll have your chance!
But then I think about how much I love being the mother of a little boy and I know that a second boy would be a wonderful experience too. Sure, I'd miss out on some things not having a girl, but I'm not one of those women who feels like she has to have a daughter. Even as a little girl I was always the tomboy who was happy to get dirty playing with the boys so I wouldn't really miss the "girly-girl" stuff like a lot of women would. And for Daniel, he might bond more with a brother than he would with a sister. Certainly there are plenty of exceptions but in general it seems people are closer to same-sex siblings.
Certainly boys and girls have their differences but the truth is that there are plenty of things that will be the same regardless of our child's gender. Whether I have one of each or two boys, I want to make sure each of my children learns important life skills like how to cook, do laundry, change a flat tire, and jump start a car before s/he moves out of the house. I want them each to try sports and learn to play a musical instrument. I want to help them to learn about our faith, what we believe, and why we believe it, then give them the freedom to follow and express their own beliefs. I want to inspire in them a love of reading, a thirst for knowledge, and a lifelong drive for continual self-improvement. I want them to learn the sense of satisfaction and self-confidence that comes from setting big goals, working toward them over time, and then accomplishing them. I want them to know that there's nothing inherently feminine about being loving and sensitive to others' needs anymore than there's anything inherently masculine about being courageous or assertive. To sum it up, I want to empower my children, male or female, to run a business, run a household, or run a marathon.
So as I sit here just weeks away from meeting our new baby, I am excited to find out what we're having, but can honestly say I will be equally happy either way. I wondered if it would be hard to go through the whole pregnancy not knowing but it's been fun to be able to consider and imagine both possibilities. And it's fun to hear everyone's confident predictions and wild guesses (both of which stand the same 50% odds of being correct).
On a related note, I'll be putting together an online baby pool at some point for people to make their guesses as to gender, birth date, measurements, etc. No prize for the winner, just the satisfaction of being right. I'll post it once I do, so if you want to weigh in, you'll have your chance!
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