5 months old!

This week Daniel celebrated his 5 month birthday, and he's as happy and healthy as ever. 

First, here's his 5 month picture:

And another which shows his lean form a little better:

Here's a recap of where we are these days:

Eating: Daniel is still an exclusively breastfed baby.  I get up to nurse him in the morning before work then we nurse 1 or 2 times in the afternoon/evening before bed.  He'll usually take 2 bottles of expressed milk during the day while I'm at work.  We'll introduce solids in a month or sooner if he shows readiness.  We haven't been in any hurry to do it so long as he's still thriving on just breastmilk.  The immunity the milk provides him is nice this time of year, especially since he's still too young for the flu vaccine.  Plus, it's convenient not to have to pack food for him when we travel next week for New Year's Day and it'll be nice to get a few weeks to settle into our new child care situation before throwing another change into the mix.

Sleeping:  He gets a gold star on his chart for his sleep habits!  He goes down for the night around 7 and on a weekend, will often sleep till 7 the next morning.  On a weekday I'll get him up about 5:45 if he isn't already up, but after a diaper change and meal he'll go back down for another hour or two, so he's generally good for about 12 hours a night.  He's always been a good night sleeper but for about the last 6 weeks he's also been a good napper too.  He usually takes a mid-morning and mid-afternoon nap, each usually 60-90 minutes but occasionally a little shorter or 2+ hours.  We had to stop swaddling once he started rolling over in early November but he sleeps just fine in his Halo sleep sacks, or as we call them "sleepy sacks," since we put him in when he gets sleepy.  He even naps pretty well when we travel, in his little tent:

Developmental milestones:  He's learning how to sit up, though he isn't there yet.  We just started him on his Exersaucer, which is like a walker but stationary.  It'll help him strengthen his leg muscles so in a few months, he'll be ready to crawl and walk.  (On a related note, guess we'll need to start childproofing the house soon!)  We put him in for the first time yesterday and already today he had learned how to swivel around in it to get to his favorite toy.  The activity mat is still our old reliable play area but I think he'll enjoy the Exersaucer too.

He's also started babbling just in the past few days, and it's really cute to hear.  He likes to do it when we put him down to bed, he'll just lie there talking to himself for a few minutes.  We haven't captured it on video yet but we'll try to soon.

In another development, he has finally shed the last of the reddish newborn hair and is now all blond.  Until this week he still had a patch of it at the base of his skull but tonight I realized it's gone.  Now his stork bite birthmark is more visible, but once his hair gets thicker I think it'll be harder to see.

Child care: Kevin has been home with Daniel since I went back to work in mid-October.  He admitted the first few weeks were a bit challenging but since then they've settled into a nice routine together.  It's been great for our family for the boys to get this bonding time.  Daniel's face lights up like the Christmas tree when he sees Daddy.  But just as mine did, Kevin's time at home with Daniel is coming to an end.  When the new year rolls around, Kevin's mom will start watching him during the day.  I'm hoping that'll give Daniel and Grandma a chance for a special bond too.  And since her house is so close to my office I'll be able to drop by at lunch to visit.

So, that's a snapshot of life these days.  This past January when we were putting up our Christmas decorations, we talked about how when we put them back up this winter there would be a baby in the house.  Now we're about to celebrate baby's first Christmas!

Daniel is 4 months old/ Baby's 1st Thanksgiving

Whew, lots to report on this time.  Since my last post we've had several new developmental milestones, a checkup, and a holiday:

This is how we roll
Daniel rolled tummy to back for the first time on Halloween, then a little more than a week later he learned how to roll from his back to his tummy.  We haven't captured that on video yet but he loves to show his new skills off on his activity mat, in his crib, and even when we're trying to change his diaper.  We always put him to bed on his back, and sometimes he stays there, but we'll often come in to get him and find him on his tummy.  Our pediatrician says not to worry, now that he's strong enough to roll over he's not at risk of suffocating if he sleeps on his tummy.  And as she points out, now that he can roll over if he wants to sleep on his tummy, short of going in and turning him over again every time there's not much we can do about it.

In a less exciting but equally happy development, Daniel, who has always been a good night sleeper, can now add champion napper to his resume.  Before he would nap unpredictably and too little, but the last few weeks he's generally good for an hourlong morning nap and 90 minute-2 hour afternoon nap.  Two big changes helped us get there: him learning to fall asleep unassisted, and the installation of light-blocking shades in his bedroom.  Not sure how much credit should go to each one, but the combined effect is that we can put him down drowsy and even if he cries a little first, he'll get himself to sleep.  I think that keeping the room dark enables him to fall asleep more quickly  and also to fall back asleep more easily when he wakes.

Here are the shades:

And here is his 4 month picture:

Checkup
Daniel had his 4-month checkup on the 19th.  He's developing quite well and really growing.  He's up to 13 lb 10 oz, 25.5" long, 16.25" head circumference.  He got 2 shots, his first DTaP and his second Hib.  He cried during the shots but was quickly calm and didn't seem to have any trouble afterwards.  Our next checkup is in January, when he'll be 6 months old.

Our first Thanksgiving
For Daniel's first Thanksgiving we visited my side of the family at the ranch in south Texas.  Daniel handled the long drive and sleeping away from home surprisingly well.  He was able to stay more or less on his normal sleep schedule-in fact, last night he slept 11 hours straight.  Which was great, except we were counting on getting on the road as soon as he was up to miss the traffic.  Fortunately we all get a little more rest and still missed most of the traffic!  He loved spending time with my parents, aka Mimi and Grandpa, as well as my brother, his great-grandparents, and some other famil members.

Here's a picture of him with his great-grandfather and namesake.  I'm so glad he and my grandmother got to see and hold him.  He's their first great-grandbaby!

We also enjoyed a visit from my cousin Chris, his wife Lisa, their daughter Caitlin, who's exactly one month older than Daniel, and Chris's mom my cousin Robin.  Here's a picture of Daniel and his cute cousin:

Birthday (mine) and Baptism (Daniel's), and a rollover minute

This weekend was a big one in our house: my birthday, Daniel's Baptism, and my parents' visit for both of those occasions.  This year as I rang in my 32nd birthday I thought back to last year and my most memorable birthday ever.  I posted awhile back about it, so I won't repeat the details here, but November 6, 2009 was the day I learned I would be a mom, and that the coming year would be unlike any of the 31 that preceded it.  While there was no excitement to match that on this birthday I did enjoy celebrating my first birthday as a mom.  A particularly special moment was when Kevin was hanging up new light-blocking drapes in Daniel's room (which have already translated to better napping!) and Daniel and I were there to "supervise."  Daniel was lying on the floor smiling and kicking up a storm.  I started singing the nursery rhyme:

"There were 3 in the bed and the little one said 'Roll over, roll over!'
 So they all rolled over and 1 fell out, there were 2 in the bed and the little one said..."

Yeah, it's pretty monotonous, but Daniel loved it, especially with the movements I added in.  He laughed and laughed, so I started over, this time with 10 in the bed.  I had seen him laugh a little before but Kevin had been telling me Daniel really laughs a lot during the day, so it was fun to get to see that in person.  Nice little birthday treat.

My parents got in Saturday afternoon and while I nursed Daniel to sleep and my dad prepared for a business trip this week, Kevin and my mom prepared a delicious birthday dinner for us.  We enjoyed cheese fondue, steak, roasted carrots, and zucchini boats, and to wash it all down, a bottle of Williamson wine from a small vineyard in Napa Valley.  We stopped into their wine tasting room in Yountville on our Cali trip last year because of the name but were so impressed with the wine that we ordered a case of it.  We only drink it on special occasions, and we thought my birthday, the Baptism of our son and godson Alejandro, and my parents' visit combined to make a wine-worthy occasion.

Then Sunday morning came and the time change along with it.  In my pre-parent life I eagerly looked forward to "fallback Sunday" as a chance to sleep in.  Thing is, it seems that babies don't get the memo about how they too should sleep in a little longer.  D was up bright and early at 6:45 Sunday morning, which meant even though we didn't need to be at church till 10:45, I was up for the day once he was.  And then he woke up last night at 1:15 for a feeding, which he hasn't done in weeks.  But hopefully another day or so will get us back on schedule.

But back to Sunday.  He didn't really get a nap in before we went to church so I worried he would get fussy during the service.  And I decided we would wait till we got there to change him into his Baptism outfit just before the service to make sure it wouldn't get spit up on or anything like that.  As it turned out, fussiness was the least of my problems and the spare outfit was a good plan!

We always bring a bottle of milk for Daniel to eat during the sermon so that we can keep him quiet during the longest quiet stretch of the service.  We decided to err on the side of caution (we thought) this time so we filled most of a 7oz bottle to make sure we'd have enough.  He got a little fussy so we kept feeding him through the sermon and he ate most of the bottle.  As I could tell the sermon was starting to wrap up, I was holding Daniel and he was standing up in my lap. 

And then it happened.  I heard a big bubbly BM.  At first I thought, ah well, I guess he got his noisy BM of the morning out of the way, then I realized, I felt that.  I looked down to find that we had a massive diaper blowout situation that had overflowed the diaper's capacity and gotten on his Baptism suit (which my brother wore at his Baptism 29 years ago), his crocheted booties, and my dress. 

Remarkably, I kept my cool, wiped up with a burp cloth, and carried Daniel out into the hallway, Kevin following behind with the diaper bag.  While I ran to the bathroom to clean up, Kevin changed Daniel into a clean diaper and the knit onesie he was in before the service.  The suit jacket was unsullied so we put it on over the onesie.  Funny thing is my mom had insisted that Daniel had to wear shoes or it would look tacky...here we were moments before the big event and I was just thankful I had a spare diaper and a white onesie to put him in!  The Baptism itself went fine but I couldn't help but think it could have been quite the spectacle if he had had his accident 5 minutes later.

In other, cleaner, news, Daniel can now roll over from his tummy to his back!  He did it for the first time last Sunday afternoon after we got back from Austin, and with Kevin and me both watching.  Since then he's done it about once a day or so.  He can't do it every time he wants to but he's getting better at it.  I was glad it happened when both of us were there to watch, and even more glad when Kevin was able to capture it on video when he repeated the trick the next day:



So all in all it's been a busy, somewhat messy, but always entertaining few weeks for us :)

Happy (belated) 3 month birthday Daniel!

I'm a little late with this one, but last week Daniel turned 3 months old.  He's officially no longer a newborn anymore.  My little baby is growing up!

Speaking of growing, he's in size 3-6 month clothes now.  We loved his going-home outfit and were really sad when he grew out of it so when I saw it in the 6 month size on clearance a few weeks ago I snapped it right up.  I thought it would be too big for another few weeks but it fits pretty well so he can dress to celebrate the Texas Rangers' improbable World Series run.

Here he is in his going-home outfit:

And here he is in the 6 month size:

He's becoming more and more adept with his hands and can grasp and hold toys.  And as Kevin pointed out, he seems to prefer his left hand so far.  I hadn't noticed it till he said it but now I see it.  This video shows his increasing hand-eye coordination and his preference for the left hand.

 



Neither of us is a lefty, but I have a grandmother and uncle who are so maybe he's following their lead.  From what I'm reading it seems a bit soon for a baby to have a hand preference so his current lefty tendencies may not mean much but if he does end up lefthanded we'll be able to say we saw signs of it early on.

Also, aside from the occasional exception, he generally goes down for the night between 7-8 and sleeps till I wake him up around 5:40.  On weekends he'll sleep till 7 or so.  He's a great night sleeper so we're pretty lucky.  Till last week we swaddled him to get him down for the night but now most night he does fine in just a wearable sleep blanket which keeps him warm but keeps his arms free.  We're hoping he'll start taking longer daytime naps on a consistent basis but in the meantime we're grateful that he sleeps so long at night.

Here's his 3 month picture.  A few weeks ago we had to take out the newborn insert and rethread the straps on his carseat to account for his growth.  He's not the little newborn we took home from the hospital anymore!

For comparison, here's his 2 month picture:

And just because he's so darn cute, here are a few more pictures:

First week as a working mom

I have officially completed my first week as a working mom and so far I have to say that while it's an adjustment, it's going pretty well. I was really feeling sad about having to leave him for the first time and built it up so much in my mind that the anticiption proved to be worse than the actual happening itself. Well, for the most part anyway.


Monday night I showered before going to bed so I would have one less thing to worry about the next day. Tuesday morning I got up and got ready but had to retouch my makeup because I would think about leaving Daniel and tear up again. I got Daniel up at 5:45, changed his diaper, then sat down on the couch with him to nurse. He ate for about 30 minutes then around 6:15 fell asleep eating. I held him for a few more minutes just listening to him breathe, feeling his little hands on my chest, and watching him sleep so peacefully. Finally when I couldn't wait any longer I carried him up the stairs to his crib, heart in my throat. I kissed him, told him I loved him, and set him in his crib then I was out the door and on my way to work.


I cried on the way there and had to take a moment before getting out of the car to compose myself. When I came in the front door at 7 I saw a friend at the receptionist's desk but didn't stop to talk because I knew I'd lose it if I had to talk about him right away. Fortunately I was the first in my area to arrive that morning so I had some time to myself to settle in and by the time more people came I felt better. I was still pretty on edge though and missing my baby. Then just as I was getting up to take my first pump break I got an email frome Kevin. It said "Hi Mommy, I miss being at home with you but Daddy and I are having a lot of fun," and had a picture from Kevin's phone camera showing a smiley, happy Daniel. It was just what I needed and I felt much better. I knew Daniel would be okay without me there but seeing that picture really helped.

Once I knew he was okay I was able to settle in and start getting caught up on work and enjoy seeing my coworkers again. Instead of tearing up when someone asked about Daniel I proudly showed them pictures. The rest of the day seemed to go pretty quickly and before I knew it it was 3:30 and time for me to leave, then 15 minutes later I was opening the garage door to the house and holding Daniel in my arms again.


The rest of the week went much better, especially when my office group brought in a breakfast spread to welcome me back on Wednesday (they waited till that day so my boss who had been out of town could be there). I was really touched by their thoughtfulness and it was nice to know they were glad to have me back and wanted to help make my first week back special.


I call home every day to see how Kevin and Daniel are doing. They've had a few tough moments but overall it's going well. Daniel is eating well and enjoying his days with Daddy. Because I get in to work so early I get off early too and spend the whole evening with them.


A day in the life
Here's a typical daily schedule now:
4:30 Wake up, feed cats, shower, dry hair, put on makeup
5:40 Get Daniel from crib, change him, feed him
6:30 Put Daniel back to bed, come back downstairs and use manual pump so I can start the day on "empty"
6:45-6:55 Leave for work
7:00-7:15 Arrive at work
10:00-10:25 First pump break
2:00-2:25 Second pump break
3:30-3:45 Leave for home
3:45-4:00 Arrive at home, feed Daniel
4:00-6:30 Spend time with Daniel
6:30-8:00 Give Daniel bath, feed him, put him to bed
8:00 Eat dinner
9:00 Pump so I can go to bed "empty", wash pump parts and pack bag for the next day
9:30ish Go to bed so I can get up and do it all over again (Okay, so I haven't been very dilligent about getting to bed this early, but I need to be!)


It's a full day and about every other day I'll do a load of laundry to wash our diapers. Right now I'm pumping much more milk than Daniel eats during the day (more on that in a minute) so in time I may drop the early morning and/or late night pumping sessions and any given day I could do it if I needed to. But I figure until I know how much I'll be pumping at work once my body starts thinking Daniel only eats twice between 6:30AM-4PM, it's better to err on the side of overproducing for now. We can always freeze excess milk but if I start having supply problems it'll take more work to overcome them.


Pumping
2 days after Daniel was born, when I was discharged from my hospital room and Daniel was still in the NICU, I sent Kevin out to buy my breast pump so I could pump milk for us to feed Daniel while I was still getting the hang of nursing. Since then, until Monday night, it had lived on my bathroom counter. In the early weeks I'd usually pump before going to bed then get up around 3AM to pump again so Kevin would have enough milk to cover 2 night feedings. Later as Daniel started sleeping more I dropped down to pumping just once a night. For the last few weeks I really didn't even need to do that because in a typical week Daniel would only get a few bottles, but I did it so I wouldn't have to go to bed full and to help pad our stash.


Monday night I packed up my bag and now it comes to work with me every day. Every morning and afternoon I go to the "Mother's room" in my building to pump. It's nothing fancy, just a repurposed supply closet, but it's got everything I need: a chair, table, electrical outlet, and not least important, a locking door.

Here's a picture.  Not sure why Blogger insists on showing it sideways when it's saved vertically, but you get the idea.
 

I get everything all set up and open a magazine to read. I set the timer on my cell phone for 15 minutes and start the pump. While the pump is doing its thing I pass the time by reading or playing on my phone. After the timer goes off I turn off the pump and carefully disassemble everything. I turn the pump back on with just the tubes connected and let it run for a few minutes to clear condensation from the tubes. I log my production into my Milk Maid app, put the milk bottles or bags into the cooler, and take the pump parts to the breakroom sink to wash them out. I leave the bag and all supplies in the room after my morning session and bring it back to my desk in the afternoon.


All in all it's a pretty decent setup. The only real inconvenience is having to pack everything up and get it back out each time. But with 3 of us using that room right now, we each have to leave it ready for the next lady.


I know some women hate pumping but I actually don't mind it. It definitely doesn't provide the satisfaction that nursing does but it's not unpleasant and it helps me feel connected to Daniel when I can't be there in person. I can't hold him in my arms but I'm still feeding him. Plus, it's nice to get to take time out of my day to be a mom...and to read a magazine, play Words with Friends, and catch up on Facebook.


I'm really grateful my office is supportive of working moms by making it easy for us. While the new health care law mandates that nearly all offices have to provide reasonable accomodations and pump breaks for breastfeeding moms (yay!), my office was already doing it before the law came into effect.


All in all, the first week went pretty well. And now that the weekend's here I'm looking forward to spending two whole days in a row with Daniel :)

Back to work

After 12 too-short weeks, tomorrow will be my first day as a working mom.  This day seemed so far off back in July but then time just sped up and  carried us into October.  The days at home often felt long but the weeks seemed to go by in a blur.

I can't believe how much he's changed since he was born.  In July we took home a newborn whose going-home outfit was too big.  Now he's outgrowing his 3 month clothes (almost 2 weeks shy of that milestone, no less), holding his head up well, smiling, cooing, and now laughing.  He's discovered his hands and feet and enjoys putting his hands in his mouth and grasping things.  And lately, he's turned into quite the drooler too!

I have mixed feelings about going back to work.  I don't really worry about how Daniel will do during the day because he'll be home with Kevin through the end of the year, thanks to paternity leave and saved up vacation time.  So he'll still be in familiar surroundings and he'll get some good bonding time with Daddy.  I'm sure the first few days will be a little challenging for both of them but they'll find their routine soon enough.  Once January rolls around Daniel will spend his weekdays in the care of Kevin's mom so while he won't be with his parents anymore he'll still be with someone who loves him and getting one-on-one attention.  So, I don't feel guilty about leaving him.  He'll be in good, loving hands.

My job is also pretty conducive to a good work-life balance.  I'm fortunate to have a job that is only 40 hours a week.  I can get in as early as 7 am to be off by 330 so I still get the whole evening with Daniel.  I don't ever have to take work home with me or work nights or weekends, and Grandma's house is so close to my office that it'll be easy for me to go see him at lunch if I want to. 

So all in all I have the ideal scenario for a working mom.  And I'm sure once we get into a routine it'll work out well.  And of course, I have to say that I'm grateful to have been able to take 12 weeks off in the first place.  Grateful that my employer was happy to give me the time off and even when the only other person who does my job announced his retirement just before my departure, my boss just brought someone in to cover for me and didn't pressure me at all to come back sooner.  Grateful that we could afford to be without my income for 7 weeks.  And that between paternity leave and our "granny nanny," Daniel gets to be cared for by family for as long as we want to.  We are truly lucky for all of that.

All that being said though, tomorrow morning I'll get up, get ready, and feed Daniel.  I'll hold him in my arms as he drifts back to sleep.  If I have time, I'll hold him for awhile after he falls asleep before I take him back up to his crib.  But then the moment I'm dreading will come.  I'll set my peaceful, sleeping boy into his crib and...I'll leave and not be there when he wakes up.

There are some things I'm looking forward to though.  I am looking forward to being able to actually sit down and have lunch at a reasonable time rather than having to shovel it down or eat really late because he didn't want to go down for a nap.  I'll enjoy getting to see my friends again and the intellectual stimulation of work.  Most of my maternity leave wasn't paid, so it'll be nice to be earning money again.  And it'll be good for me and Daniel for me to get more comfortable with the idea of leaving him in someone else's care.  I don't want to be one of those moms who can't trust anyone else with their child.  I have a hard time with that now and I'm sure more time at home with him would only make me more that way.  As satisfying as it is to be the person who can always soothe him, it's better for him if he gets used to being soothed by people besides me.

Tomorrow will be a hard day, no doubt about it.  But all my working mom friends say it gets easier.  And while I won't be there for him during the day in person, thanks to pumping he'll still be getting my milk for every meal.  I'll be able to pump at work and I've already got a pretty sizeable stash of milk in our fridge and freezer, over 120 oz.  Each morning and afternoon I'll take my pump bag to the unused supply closet that has been repurposed into a mother's room.  I know some women hate pumping but I'm actually looking forward to it.  It'll be nice to have that connection with him and know that even if I'm not there to hold him, I'm still able to give him the best food he can possibly get.  For those pump breaks I'll get to emphasize the mom part of "working mom."

It'll be hard to get myself up tomorrow.  But I'll have the reward of knowing that I might be home by the time Daniel wakes up from his afternoon nap.  And just like I think many women build up labor pains in their mind to something much worse than the real thing, I'm sure the anticipation of separation is worse than the reality will prove to be.  And in truth, Full-time Mommyland isn't a place I'd want to live.  But it proved a pretty nice place to visit, and I'm proud to say I think I did pretty well there.

Daniel's first Oktoberfest (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Beco Carrier)

Last Saturday we took Daniel to the Addison Oktoberfest.  While I was looking forward to going and enjoying some good food and beer, I was nervous about how Daniel would handle it.  First, it was going to keep him out long enough that he'd need a nap and if he didn't get it he was sure to get cranky and off schedule for the whole day.  Second, it was going to be hot and crowded, not an ideal condition for a baby.  Third, Daniel's too little to ride in a real stroller so our only stroller option would be to put his carseat in the snap n' go carrier but he gets hot in his carseat so that didn't seem like a good option.  So with a few reservations and our new Beco Butterfly II carrier, we set out for Oktoberfest.  I figured we'd get to stay an hour, hour and a half tops.

I put Daniel in the Beco when we parked and we walked into the fairgrounds.  So far, so good.  We met Nicole and baby Alejandro there and on her smart advice we headed straight to the International pavilion to get into the air conditioning.  I looked down to see that Daniel was sound asleep.  Over the next few hours he stirred a bit but slept soundly.  Whenever he would get a little restless I would just stand up and sway a little and he would settle back to sleep.  Finally after about 2 hours or so he woke up and after eating in the carrier (add the International Pavilion to the list of places I've nursed now) and then hanging out a bit he had had his fill and we left.  But we ended up getting stay for over 3 hours, much longer than I had expected.  And he did fine the rest of the evening once we got home too.

It was our first extended use of the Beco and I have to say I'm quite impressed.  Daniel was obviously quite comfortable in it and after wearing him all day I didn't have any soreness in my shoulders or back.  And the hood helped protect his sensitive skin from the sun and gave him a darker space to nap in.  We still love our ring sling but the Beco is a great addition to our babywearing line-up and should be more comfortable for Kevin to use too. 

Ein prosit for the Beco!

Here he is during an awake moment with Daddy:

Happy 2 month birthday Daniel!

Today our little boy is 2 months old and he's doing really well.  He had his 2 month check-up this morning and he's grown by leaps and bounds since his last check-up.  At 2 weeks he was 7lb 8oz and 21 in.  Today he measured in at 11lb 10oz and 23.5 in and 15.25 in head circumference.  He gained over half his body weight in 7 weeks!  He's around the 50% percentile on all his measurements and developing wonderfully.  It's pretty satisfying to know that every ounce he's gained, before birth and after, is thanks to me.  Little pat on the back for mommy!

Unfortunately he didn't get a great "birthday" present today.  He got his first 2 shots.  He was lying on the exam table smiling and cooing at the nurses then got a shot in each thigh, Hib in one and Pneomococcus in the other.  He's been a little fussy since but he took a nice 3 1/2 hour nap this afternoon and after a bath this evening and he's been asleep since 7.  Our doctor suggested trying to get him down for the night around 7 or 8 so we're trying that out tonight.  Normally he'll nap on and off during the evening but not really go down for a long stretch till about 11 or 12 but our doctor said in her experience, babies around this age either go down by 8 or not till around 12.  So we'll see how it goes.  Maybe he'll be sleeping 12  hours or so a night soon!

Following the good suggestion of our friends Charlotte and Alden we're taking a picture of Daniel every month on the 21st in his carseat so it's easy to see growth from one month to the next.

Here's his 1 month picture:

And here he is today at 2 months:

He is much bigger and more interactive than he was a month ago.  What will he be doing at 3 months?  Rolling over?  Laughing?  Can't wait to find out!

7 week update

Since my 6-week postpartum checkup was last Friday I was thinking this was a good time to give a general "state of the union" update on how Daniel and I are coming along, him with his development and me with my recovery:

Daniel
Recently we've really noticed how much Daniel has grown.  2 weeks ago we thought he had outgrown newborn size diapers so we went up to level 1, then decided we might have been a bit hasty so we got another round of newborn diapers.  By the time we finished that pack though we knew he was ready for level 1.  He's also wearing cloth diapers now too and while some of them seemed too big for him even 2 weeks ago they seem to fit better now.  Going to give those another week or so to decide which brand we like best before ordering more, but soon we should be mostly in cloth.

Daniel has also graduated to 0-3 month size clothes.  Last week we did a "farewell tour" of his newborn size outfits.  To see how much he's grown, compare these two pictures of him in his going-home outfit:

This one was taken 4 days after he was born and the inseam, legs, and arms were all too long for him. 

Last week the arms were the right length but the legs and inseam were looking short.  He's also developing a little Buddha belly to fill it out.  And as you can see, he's quite the active little guy!

In other exciting developments, he started smiling right around the 1-month mark.  I have yet to capture it on camera but trust me, it's the sweetest, cutest thing you've ever seen.  Add in the cooing noises he started making around the same time and it's a heartmelting combination.  He is also starting to learn how to use his hands a little.  He can grab a finger that's put on his palm and this morning he reached out and touched my face a few times.  He doesn't have great control yet but I can tell he is beginning to make more voluntary movements instead of just reflexive flailing around.

Another happy development for us over the past 2 weeks has been a lengthening of his nighttime sleep.  His 3am feeding has gradually shifted back to 4 and now 5 and sometimes later, and several nights he has slept for at least 6 hours at a time.  We seem to be trending toward eliminating that middle of the night feeding, which will be great news for us.  Our daytime sleep patterns are still evolving, but he will pretty consistently nap for around 90 minutes or so at a time in the morning and a few 1 hour naps in the afternoon and evening, though those are less regular. 

In the past few weeks he's also begun to have some periods of quiet alertness when he's just looking around and taking it all in.  He loves for me to talk to him then.  I like to point out facial features on my face and then the same ones on his.  I know he can't understand yet but never too early to start, right?

He has also gone from hating his bath to tolerating it to really enjoying it.  Kevin fills the tub and gets in and holds Daniel, who smiles and coos.  He seems to like having his body submerged in the water up to the shoulders and having water poured over him.  His first baths we rushed to get through as quickly as possible but now we stretch it out for 15-20 minutes or until he starts to get fussy.  He doesn't get dirty enough to need one more than a few times a week but since he likes them we'll try to give one almost every night.  He also doesn't cry very often during diaper changes anymore like he used to.  When he does cry now though, he tears up, which makes him look even sadder.

He's still a pretty easy baby and doesn't tend to be very fussy most of the time.  That said, last week he was crankier than usual and this past Saturday night he gave my poor mother-in-law  a hard time on her first babysitting gig.  I had read that fussiness usually peaks around 6 weeks of age so I guess if that's as bad as it'll get, we have it pretty easy.

Me
After putting my body through pregnancy, labor, and delivery, I'm happy to report that I'm pretty much recovered.  I was a little nervous about how quickly the 37 pounds I put on would come back off but I'm now within about 7 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight.  I've still got a little bit of a belly and can't fit into my normal size pants and shorts yet, but jeans one size up fit a little loose, and the other night I fit into a normal size dress.  My goal was to be back to my pre-baby weight by the time I return to work October 12 and it looks like I have a decent shot of achieving that.  Funny, in pre-baby times I'd have felt really out of shape at this weight but right now I'm thrilled with it!

I also have the go-ahead to resume exercise and in the last week I've rollerbladed 10 miles, run 2 miles, and rode my bike almost 5 miles.  I overdid it going my normal distance when I rollerbladed so I decided to start with shorter, slower outings on my first run and ride.  I definitely feel out of shape but exercise was a big part of my pre-baby life which I really missed as I got farther along in my pregnancy so it's nice to be able to do it again even if I'm not at 100%.

Aside the unfortunate brush with mastitis breastfeeding has been going well.  We've come a long way from those first nursing attempts in the hospital when the lactation consultant had to coach me and it felt like every detail had to be exactly right in order to get a latch.  In those early days I felt like I needed a spotter to guide me and an extra hand or two and I couldn't have any distractions.  Now I can nurse him while working on a laptop and watching tv, eating a sandwich, or lying down in the dark.  He's still not fond of the nursing cover I use when other people are around so that's something we'll need to get more comfortable with.

It still feels a little strange to me that "the girls" are actually functional now rather than merely decorative.  It's like they've taken on a life of their own, and sometimes that can make things rather inconvenient.  But it's nice to watch Daniel grow and know that I'm directly responsible for all of that growth.  And as a wonderful side bonus breastfeeding burns 600 calories a day. That's like an hour's worth of pretty intense cardio, just for sitting and watching tv!

So all in all, we're both doing quite well!

Got milk?

Apparently August was National Breastfeeding Awareness Month.  So in honor of that, I thought I'd share a few tales from our own adventures in breastfeeding. 

All in all, it's going quite well for us. We took a week or so to really get in the groove but now it seems pretty easy for me and my little "boob man."  I knew before he was born that I definitely wanted to breastfeed for as long as possible but I didn't realize how much Daniel and I would come to enjoy having that time together.  He seems so content nuzzled up on the Boppy pillow and will usually drift off to sleep after a feeding.  I like that it's a special job that only I can do for him and that it gives me the power to turn a crying baby into a peaceful one in seconds.  Adding pumping to the mix gives me the best of both worlds, the bonding, health benefits, and cost-effectiveness of breastfeeding with the convenience of bottles so Kevin or someone else can feed him on occasion.  Despite the inconveniences that come along with it I know I'll miss nursing once he weans off of breast milk.

While it has gone well most of the time, we've had a few interesting moments along the way:


A few weeks ago I took a nap one afternoon and woke up with one of the "girls" feeling very sore.  Since it was the side he fed from second at the last feeding I assumed it was just sore from being overly full but the pain remained even though I nursed Daniel on that side first at our next feeding.  Then I started to feel really tired so when Kevin got home that evening he watched Daniel so I could nap.  When I woke up I came downstairs and felt feverish and cold and achy all over.  I thought I must be getting the flu or something then connected the dots and remembered reading about mastitis, a bacterial infection in the breast.  I looked it up again and read that symptoms include pain in the affected area as well as flu-like symptoms. 

I made an appointment the next morning with my midwife and she was kind enough to squeeze me in between a few patients in labor.  She seconded my armchair diagnosis, said my sweet little cherub had given me the infection through germs in his mouth, and prescribed some antibiotics to clear it up.  As promised I felt better within 24 hours but despite the instruction to nurse Daniel on the affected side as often as possible I had to improvise by pumping that side instead because nursing hurt so much I actually screamed at one point.  Fortunately all was better within a few days but it was an experience I'd be glad to never have again.

On a more humorous note, on my first girl's night out to see a movie with Nicole I stopped off at Destination Maternity to shop for some more nursing bras first.  I grabbed a few bras to try on and went into a dressing room.  After undressing I grabbed one of the new bras to try on thinking as I did so, "boy would this be an unfortunate time to start leaking!"  No sooner did the thought cross my mind then I looked down to find myself dripping onto the floor! 

I held the new bra away from me so as not to get on it while frantically digging in the top I'd worn for the nursing pads.  The good news is those covered the leak, the bad news is they're adhesive on the clothes side not the body side so before trying on each new bra I'd have to hold the pads to myself with one arm while maneuvering my way into the bra with the other.  I could have used at least one more arm for all of that but in the end I was able to get it done and even somehow grab the bottled water the saleslady offered me to drink through the curtain.  As all this was happening it crossed my mind that many stores have hidden cameras to prevent theft so if this one did, someone probably got a good laugh out of watching me wrestle with the mischievous girls!  Needless to say, this is one of those things I never imagined I'd be doing.

Speaking of things I never imagined myself doing, this past weekend I had my first out of the house pumping experience.  We took Daniel on his first road trip to visit my parents in Austin and Saturday we made a day trip to south Texas to introduce Daniel to his great-grandparents.  Before we went to dinner that night I tried to get Daniel to nurse but he wasn't very hungry so after we got to the restaurant while everyone else was inside starting the meal I went back out to the car to pump.  Fortunately we have an adapter that allows me to use the cigarette lighter outlet for power instead of just batteries so the pump was at full strength but it was more than a little awkward getting everything all set up in the back seat (where the windows are tinted).  Further, it started getting really hot in there even with the air on so I cracked the window a little to get a breeze, and then of course a car full of people pulled up and parked right next to me.  Granted it was dusk, and I'm sure they couldn't see what I was doing, but given that pumping is usually a private experience I was of course a little self-conscious wondering what they'd think.  Thankfully it wasn't daylight and it was much cooler than it has been most of the month so I had the option of cracking the window.  It was a better option than the bathroom stall but I hope I don't have many backseat pumping experiences in my future, or at least not while it's still warm out.

Wonder what nursing and pumping adventures await...

Playdate!

This afternoon Daniel and I headed to my friend Emily's house for a playdate with Emily, her 5 month old son Noah, Nicole, and 5 month old Alejandro.  It was amazing to see how much bigger the other boys are than Daniel...Emily and Nicole said they couldn't believe their kids were ever as small as Daniel, while I can't believe he'll be as big as they are before long!  Ale and Noah are able to hold their heads up and grasp rattles and toys with their hands which of course Daniel can't do yet, but he did show off his latest trick, smiling.  He started smiling a few days ago and I love when he rewards me with one.

The afternoon was fun and the boys kept it lively by making sure at least one of them was awake and making noise at every moment.  Two would nap at the same time but we could never get all 3.  I was pleased that when Daniel got a little fussy, he calmed right down and even fell asleep when I put him in the ring sling.  He really seems to take well to that.

Toward the end of the day we lined the boys up on a blanket for picture time.  Daniel and Ale were wearing the same outfit but Ale's 6-month size was almost too small and Daniel's 3-monther was a little too big.  It was funny to see skinny little Daniel between those two big boys.  They started flailing their arms around hitting each other, much to the amusement of the mommies.

Happy 1 month birthday Daniel!

One month ago today our lives were forever changed at 11:16am when our sweet little boy entered the world.  Somehow it's hard to believe 31 days have already passed since then.  I don't know what he weighs or measures right now but I can tell he's gotten bigger.  He's getting a bit of a Buddha belly and his newborn clothes are getting a little snug.

Here are a few pictures of him at 1 month old.  I'll take a picture every month on the 21st so we can track his growth.

We're still getting to know each other but I'm already thoroughly smitten with the little guy.  How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways:
-  The faces he makes after a feeding as he drifts off to sleep.  His eyes roll back, he moves his mouth like he's eating then gets this lazy gummy grin.  I know it's not a true smile yet, just an involuntary muscle movement, but it's so cute.
-  The way he rests his face on his elbows after I burp him on my shoulder.
-  The look he makes when he raises his head and closes his eyes, usually as part of a yawn.
-  How when he lets go after nursing sometimes he'll have milk running down his chin.
-  His uncanny ability to free his arms from a swaddle, no matter how tight, and raise them over his head and stretch when he yawns (see picture below).
-  The way he furrows his brow and looks so concerned sometimes like he's just not sure about what's going on.
-  How peaceful he looks when he's sleeping.
-  Though I don't like to see it often, the big fish-mouth frown he makes when he's unhappy is pretty cute.
-  How much he loves being worn in my new ring sling when I'm making breakfast, putting away laundry or getting the mail.

Mainly though, I love him because he's ours.  When I look at him I see the living embodiment of the love Kevin and I have and it's amazing to think we created him from almost nothing and now he's a living, breathing little person.  I love that we'll get to watch him discover his world and learn new things.  I can't wait for the smiles of recognition when he sees me, to hear him laugh for the first time, call me mommy, and tell me he loves me.

But all of that's off in the future.  For now I'll just love him for the beautiful one month old baby he is and be thankful for this wonderful little blessing we have.  How lucky are we?

Daniel's first bath

Saturday morning Daniel's umbilical cord stump finally came off after 3 1/2 weeks.  I had always thought it only took a week or two so I was starting to worry we might be sending him off to kindergarten with that thing still attached but no, it's finally gone.  Good thing too because it was getting stinky.

With that milestone accomplished we decided it was time for our big boy to get his first real bath.  I didn't record most of it but you can see how he felt about the experience.  Let's hope he warms to the idea soon...

Our NICU experience

Wednesday, July 21: Into the world, off to the NICU
As I mentioned in the birth story post, Daniel aspirated some meconium before delivery so a NICU team was standing by to tend to him when he was born. Within probably 15 minutes of the birth, and after I'd only gotten to hold him for a few short minutes, Daniel was taken to the NICU.

Here are pictures of me holding him for the first time. I never noticed till now that the nurse handing him to me was in a plastic suit. I guess the whole NICU team probably was but it didn't register at the time.

After Cecily finished sewing me up and we had gotten our things packed we moved to our recovery room on the 7th floor then headed over to the NICU nursery to visit Daniel. My parents came with us to meet their first grandchild.

When we first saw Daniel he was lying on his tummy in an incubator bassinet with a big breathing mask strapped to his face and a feeding tube in his mouth and taped to his cheek. He had a hep lock in his right arm for an IV and a big soft blue pad strapped to his arm so he wouldn't scratch himself or try to pull out an IV. He also had wires taped to his chest to monitor his heart and more wires on his foot to measure who knows what. It looked like so much equipment on such a tiny little body, and to top it off he had antibiotic ointment in his eyes.


Despite all of that, he still looked beautiful. We were also impressed by the way he was already lifting his head up and trying to move around. He might have been covered in wires and tubes but he was proving himself to be a strong little boy already.

We didn't get to hold him on that visit because he was hooked up to the CPap breathing machine. But when we came back a few hours later his breathing had improved enough that he was off the CPap and breathing with a nasal cannula tube (like what people on oxygen tanks use).

Now that he was off the CPap we could hold him. For Kevin this was his first time. We also dressed him in some of the newborn clothes we'd brought. Unfortunately we hadn't counted on a 4 day hospital stay so we didn't pack enough clothes for him (or us) so he had to wear hospital shirts most of the time. But getting to hold Daniel and dress him in his own clothes gave us a little more of a chance to bond and feel more like his parents and less like visitors.

Thursday, July 22: The good news, the bad news, and a very ugly diaper change
The next morning Dr. Moin, the NICU doctor caring for Daniel, came by our room and told us that over the night Daniel's breathing had improved enough to remove the nasal cannula and let him breathe room air. We were optimistic that since the initial reason for his NICU stay had been resolved we might get to take him home soon.

But as we learned, news in the NICU tended to follow a pattern of one step forward, one step back. A few hours later came the news that Daniel's white blood cell count reflected a high number of immature white cells. Dr. Moin explained that this could be a sign of bacterial infection or just be related to the normal stress of birth. To find out, they would run cultures and see what they found in 48 hours and in the meantime Daniel would be given antibiotics preventatively. Even assuming all was fine, this meant the best case scenario didn't have Daniel going home sooner than Saturday morning.


Thursday and Friday we were still staying in our NICU recovery room. We learned the NICU's schedule of feeding every 3 hours on the 3's and timed our visits so we could feed him and change his diaper.


One thing Baylor was great about was supporting breastfeeding. Wednesday afternoon a hospital breast pump was delivered to our room so I could start pumping, and whatever we collected from that we'd take to the NICU in syringes to be fed to Daniel.


My ideal birth plan had called for Daniel to room in with us and be exclusively breastfed, but in the NICU they require the babies to eat 40ml at every feeding and before the milk comes in, a nursing mom couldn't possibly produce enough so they had to supplement with formula. We did give him whatever milk I was able to pump and I got help from several of the hospital's lactation consultants as we made our first attempts at breastfeeding. It may be a natural process but it certainly didn't come naturally to Daniel or me right away so their advice really helped.

On one visit Thursday we were changing his diaper and experienced a close encounter of the gross kind. We had taken off the dirty diaper and were wiping Daniel's booty when he decided it was time to poop again. As we were cleaning up the new mess and laughing hysterically Daniel started spitting up so I left Kevin to tend to the diaper mess while I wiped up the spit-up (and yes, I would say I got the better end of that deal!). Before we could put a new diaper on, Daniel decided to add another bodily function to the mix and peed all over his shirt and Kevin's hand. We put a new diaper on quickly before Daniel could unleash something else then changed the shirt (which was quite hard with the hep lock and blue pad on the right arm and all the wires to work around). That would have been the end of the drama except that as Kevin was trying to fold up the dirty diaper he stuck his finger right in the poopy part! Needless to say during all of this Daniel was crying frantically, no doubt as startled as we were by all that output from 3 sources in such a short time!

Friday, July 23: Feeding troubles
While Daniel was otherwise doing well the NICU team was concerned because he wasn't eating 40ml of milk/formula at his feedings. Whatever he didn't take from a bottle they gave him through the feeding tube in his nose, aka "gavage." Sometimes he'd get close to taking the full 40 but other times he'd take half or less. It seemed like all of our time with him was spent trying to make him eat rather than getting to hold and enjoy him.

I remember one feeding Friday night when he was just not hungry and we had to give up and have him gavaged. We held him while the gavage was going and he seemed so content in our arms like he just wanted us to love on him instead of trying to force-feed him. It was hard because there was so little we were able to do as his parents at that point and it felt like we weren’t even succeeding at the main job we could help with.


The nurse on duty said even if the blood cultures came back negative and everything else looked good, they couldn't discharge him till he was eating well. It felt like he'd be there forever. It was especially frustrating because they even agreed with me that if he was rooming in with us he'd just be getting a little colostrum every day and that would be all he needed, but because he was in the NICU he was on what seemed to be an arbitrary schedule and dosage. I made it through 37 hours of labor and pushing with no medication and very little sleep and don't recall crying at all but the frustrations with feeding definitely brought out the tears.


Friday evening we were discharged from our hospital room but rather than go home we checked into a room at the hospital hotel. The room was certainly nothing to write home about but at least we were close enough that one or both of us could still make every feeding, even the middle of the night ones. Leaving our hospital room and going to the hotel rather than home was the hardest time of the whole birth and hospital stay for me. It hit me then that we didn't know when we'd get to take him home and just when it had looked like all we had to do was wait for the blood cultures, now the feeding issue was looming over everything and suggesting our stay might be extended again even though he was otherwise healthy.

The absolute low point for me came around 2:45 Saturday morning. I had woken up at 2:15 to pump some milk to take and feed him at 3:00. I sat on the edge of the bed pumping in the dark then walked the halls to the NICU tired but looking forward to seeing and feeding my son. When I arrived the nurse said Daniel had woken up early and while they tried to hold him off with a pacifier, he was hungry and she'd had to give him his bottle. He had sucked down the whole thing and was now sound asleep. I was so disappointed at having gone through all that and not even getting to hold him that I headed back to the hotel crying and it wasn't till I was halfway back that I realized the good news that he had taken a full bottle for the first time.

Saturday, July 24: Close but no cigar
As it turned out, Daniel wouldn’t need to be gavaged anymore from that point on. When Kevin went back at 6 Daniel took a full bottle from him, he nursed well from me at 9, and we went back at noon optimistic about the blood cultures and hoping this might be the day we got to take him home.

The good news was that the cultures were negative, so there was no infection. But in NICU fashion, there was also some less positive news. Another blood measurement for C-reactive protein, which had tested high the day before, had fallen significantly but hadn't yet dropped to the normal range. So, while Daniel had no infection and was eating well, he still couldn't go home. The doctor said they wanted to keep him till Sunday morning and check his CRP and assuming it was normal, Daniel would be discharged. While we were disappointed to be facing yet another day of staying at the hotel and seeing him only for feedings we were glad that momentum had turned.


Daniel continued to eat well throughout the day, nursing from me and taking bottles of pumped milk from Kevin. We woke up Sunday feeling very optimistic.

Sunday, July 25: Free at last!
Sunday morning the doctor said the CRP hadn't quite dropped to normal but was close enough and showing sufficient progress that they were ready to discharge him. We set about packing up our room, loading the car, and getting Daniel's car seat and going-home outfit ready.

Here’s Daniel in his going-home outfit, which reads “Daddy’s #1 draft pick.” The hospital photographer suggested this pose and as she was taking her professional pictures I was snapping away behind her with my camera.

The discharge seemed to take forever but soon enough he'd had (and passed) his hearing test and gotten his picture taken, we'd packed up all the contents of his bassinet tray (along with keepsakes like his wristband and blood pressure cuff), and it was time to go. We put him into his carseat and we were finally on our way home. As we pulled out of the garage I pulled out my sunglasses for the first time in 5 days.

On the way home we pointed out landmarks to a sleeping Daniel telling him about places we wanted to take him. Once we got him home I carried him around all the rooms and then sat rocking him for a long time in the recliner in his room, so happy to finally have our little boy home.


Daniel received wonderful care in the NICU and the nurses and doctors there were great, but being separated from him for so much of the day and being limited in what we could do with and for him was a rough way to begin parenthood.  Looking around the NICU certainly gave us a lot of perspective though. Daniel was among the healthiest babies we saw and over some of the bassinets we saw signs wishing the baby occupant a happy 2-month or 3-month birthday. Some of the parents waited weeks and even months to take their baby home while others were just praying that they would ever be able to take their baby home and most of the other NICU parents would have happily traded places with us. I know that by comparison 4 days, during which his health was never at serious risk, is a small inconvenience. But I also know that someday when we give Daniel a little sister or brother if we're lucky enough to have an uncomplicated birth and room in with our baby, I definitely won't take it for granted.


And the NICU experience did have a few silver linings (aside from the obvious one of ensuring we took home a healthy baby). I hadn't planned to bottle feed for the first few weeks because I was worried introducing a bottle, even of expressed milk, too soon might derail my attempts to get breastfeeding established. But since Daniel took bottles in the NICU and it didn't seem to interfere with nursing we have a schedule that lets Kevin give several feedings in a row of expressed milk every night so I can get some sleep and Kevin and Daniel get some boy bonding time.


Also, before we had Daniel I had imagined that when we left the hospital we might be feeling overwhelmed and anxious about how to care for him. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe they're actually going to let me leave with this baby!" But after 4 days of worrying about him, getting up at all hours of the night to walk the long halls, just to take advantage of every chance I could to see him, feed him, and even change his diaper, I realized I wasn't nervous when it was time to take him home. I may not have known how to do everything (and still don’t, and never will) but I knew the mother instincts were there and that we’d be fine.


And almost three weeks later, we are doing just fine. We're still learning on the job and there have been some hard hours and days but on the whole things are going quite well. Daniel has been perfectly healthy since we brought him home and the little boy who had to be gavaged because he wouldn't eat is now quite the eater and getting bigger, weighing 7lb 8oz at his checkup last week and measuring 21 inches, up from 7lb and 20in at delivery.  Looking at him now you wouldn't believe he was ever anything less than completely healthy.  And when I have to get up early to feed him, or he won't go down for a nap, or he pees all over the place when I'm changing his diaper, I can remind myself that at least I am lucky enough to have him to take care of round the clock in my own house rather than having to scrub in to visit him in the NICU every few hours.