The road less traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

-The Road Less Traveled, Robert Frost 

I've hinted in a few previous posts about a big change in my family's life so now it's time to let the cat out of the bag.  I don't usually post about myself directly but this time I'll make the exception.

As of early July, I work for myself.  Or to be more specific, I work for a professional corporation I created.  I left my SBA job of almost 8 years to start a solo law practice from home.  I'll have a nanny watch Rebecca Tuesday-Thursday but Mondays and Fridays I will generally plan to just work from home during her naps.  I'll focus my practice on will preparation and estate planning, probate, and family law, all areas I've worked in previously and enjoyed.  I'm also considering getting trained to be a mediator.

This was a major change for me and my family and not one I made lightly.  But in the end, it wasn't really a hard decision when I considered where my personal and professional priorities lie.  When I sat down to consider what was most important to me in a job I put family-friendliness first, the opportunity to do interesting and challenging work second, and earnings and other benefits third.  

I enjoyed my time at the SBA and learned a lot there.  I had many wonderful coworkers whom I'm privileged to count as friends and I couldn't have asked for better managers all the way up my chain of command.  I'll always be proud of our work to help disaster victims and my efforts to help prevent and assist in the investigation and prosecution of disaster fraud.  And most of the time I enjoyed a predictable 40-hour work week.  It was a good job and a chapter of my life I'll always remember fondly.

But after doing the same thing for a long time I was ready for new professional challenges.  I wanted to learn and do new things and develop different skills.  And while my family and I were able to make the standard 40-hour weeks work for us easily enough, during periods of heavy workload we suddenly had to adapt to longer hours and sometimes 7-day weeks.  That was tough and would surely be harder with 2 young children.  Even when a heavy work period is "only" a month or two, kids change so much when they're young that that's a big period of their lives to miss.

During the fall of 2011 I was on a 7-day detail for 2 months straight and I stayed home one Saturday morning to get some time with Daniel.  That morning as I looked on he took his first steps.  I didn't want to risk missing those moments.  But more than worrying about missing the major moments, I want to be around for more moments period.

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

While I was home on maternity leave I really enjoyed getting so much time with the kids and the family just "ran" better when I was home more.  I'm the family coordinator who makes sure trains run on time and where they need to be and we all benefit when I have a little more time to do that.  And Daniel really benefited from more one-on-one time with me.  Even picking him up just an hour earlier from school seemed to make him a much happier boy.  He loves school but I think he benefits from a little downtime in the evening.  And our relationship benefits from that time too, especially if Rebecca is napping and he and I can play.

Also, Kevin had some interesting opportunities available at his job but they would require more time and travel.  It was hard to envision that working out with both of us having full-time jobs and 2 young kids but if I had a more flexible schedule suddenly that became a possibility.  Maternity leave was my chance to travel a day down that other path and I liked what I saw.

Those 12 weeks at home made me wonder  whether there was a better way for me to balance my career and family life.  I talked to several friends and former colleagues who had started their own practices, including a few with home-based part-time practices.  That idea seemed like it might align well with my career goals but I knew this was a major decision and not one to make during the heightened emotions of a maternity leave that seemed to be slipping through my fingers.  So I decided to return to work and, if I still felt the same way after a month or so, think more seriously about a change.

The truth is my return to work wasn't hard.  That first day was tough but I slipped back into the routine pretty quickly.  It's like spending all day inside, becoming used to the ambient temperature, and not even realizing it's cold until you step outside then back in.  With a few more months I'd have acclimated back to business as usual.  But fresh off of maternity leave and with plans for a solo practice percolating in my head, I knew it was time for a change.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

And so one day I walked into my boss's office, gave my notice, and made it official.  Kevin's paternity leave ends this week so it made sense to time my transition accordingly.  For a number of reasons that was also an ideal time for my office to transition my position to someone else.

July 2 dawned and I drove to the SBA for the last time as an employee.  My work group gave me a wonderful send-off and I went to lunch with my best SBA friend.  Then that evening I handed in my letter of resignation, carried out the last of my belongings, and turned in my badge.  Just like that a chapter was closed and a new one begun.  As the song says, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

The next day we took off for our annual family vacation-not the worst way to spend my first day of self-employment!  Since our return I've spent my days getting my practice set up.  It's a work in progress but I'm excited about all the opportunities that lie ahead on this new road!

In the best case my practice will be successful and fulfilling and I might even be able to claim the title of primary breadwinner. But worst case scenario, even if I try it for a few years and decided it wasn't for me, I'll still have gotten more time with the kids and gained some valuable experience. Framed that way it was an easy decision.  I may succeed, I may fail, but either way I'll know I tried and will never wonder "what if?"

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I've often said I want to empower my children to run a business, run a household, and run a marathon.  This year I'm going to lead by example on all 3 counts, so look for me at the finish line of the Dallas Marathon this December!  Have a baby, start a business, and run my first marathon in the same year?  Why not? :)

"I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don't want to shrink back just because something isn't easy. I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can't and I can. Maybe that spot is called I will."

-Kristin Armstrong, Runner

And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.  Next up: Padre vacation, Rebecca's 5 month update, and Daniel's 3 year update.

Rebecca: 4 months

Once more I find myself getting a monthly update in right under the wire.  Maybe next month will be better!

Nearly 5 months in Rebecca continues to be as easygoing and cheerful a baby as you could imagine.  She sleeps and naps well and almost always has a big smile on her face and big beautiful blue eyes full of wonder.  When we are out somewhere with her we get lots of comments about how pretty, well-behaved, and alert she is.  She almost never cries, even when she's off schedule.  I call her my mellow mushroom...she's just content to take everything in if she's secure in loving arms.

She's still enjoying Kevin's paternity leave and now, thanks to another new development (another post I'm overdue on), she will enjoy more time with me too.  She loves Daniel and watches him alertly whenever he's nearby.  He's very sweet with her too.  On our recent vacation to South Padre Island we had the kids share a bedroom and one day we tried to put them both down for a nap.  She started crying and I heard Daniel get out of bed, come over to her crib and reassure "it's okay Baby Rebecca, it's okay!"  Such a sweet big brother.

Not a lot of big news in developments this month.  She continues to hone her rolling skills and can roll back to tummy and tummy to back.  In light of this newfound skill and our switch from swaddling to the sleep sack, tummy sleeping has become her favored sleep position and she'll sleep like that for 12+ hours and wake up with a smile on her face.  She's also got increasingly strong legs and can now stand pretty well assisted.  She laughs too, especially if I rub my head on her tummy, and it's the sweetest sound in the world.

She's still exclusively breastfeeding and eating well.  She isn't teething yet that I can tell but she puts her hands and just about anything else she can get her hands on in her mouth.  I don't remember Daniel being so "mouthy" at this age; maybe she'll teethe a little earlier than he did.  Or maybe it's just her means of self-soothing.

We never used a pacifier with Daniel and at this point I would guess we'll probably not use one with her either. As far as I'm concerned if she doesn't need it, it's one less thing for us to have to worry about.  Yay for self-soothing babies!

Here's her 4 month carseat picture: