As mentioned before, Kevin and I had 4 weeks of Bradley classes. When I tell people we did Bradley courses, I tend to get two questions: "what's Bradley method?" and "how is it different from Lamaze?" So to answer the first and somewhat answer the second, the Bradley method is focused on helping couples achieve a natural, unmedicated childbirth. You learn what happens during the stages of labor and how to relax through the contractions. In effect, you learn that your body knows what it's doing and the best thing to do is to stay out of your own way. As I understand Lamaze, having not looked into it in any detail, that method teaches the woman to concentrate on a focal point and to use artificial breathing patterns to get through contractions and while open to natural birth, is not specifically tailored towards it. So, different routes to the same goal, a healthy baby.
In a nutshell, Bradley says to look at how a dog, a cat, a cow, or other mammal gives birth, and follow their lead. What they do instinctively, women can learn to do to minimize the pain or discomfort of labor. A woman in labor needs complete relaxation (or as close as possible), achieved through the use of deep abdominal breathing, a quiet, dark room, and lying in a comfortable sleep-like position until it's time to push. While the mother is no doubt the star of the show, the father plays a very big role as the labor coach helping mom along through encouragement, massage, and helping her to be as relaxed as possible.
During the classes we learned about the stages of labor and exercises to practice beforehand, some to help stretch the muscles and some to practice relaxation. One relaxation exercise we did at the end of classes was for me and the other two moms to lie on the floor on our sides using a yoga mat and pillows to be comfortable. Robin, our instructor, turned off the lights and would read something to help us to relax, for example, asking us to imagine ourselves lying on a beach. During this time we'd close our eyes and try to consciously relax every part of the body. After a few minutes Robin would tell the guys to simulate a contraction by squeezing our arms or ankles, not enough to be painful but enough to be an uncomfortable distraction. The ladies were then to relax and take deep breaths to tune it out while the guys would offer massage and encouragement. Sometimes she would have us try tensing up, moving, or opening our eyes to see that yes, it actually does feel a lot better when you relax, take deep breaths, and try to focus on a happy thought instead of the discomfort.
The idea of practicing relaxation might sound silly, but anyone who practices yoga knows that releasing tension can actually be quite challenging and does get easier with practice. When we are doing the relaxation practice I'll often think about the end of yoga class when you lie on your back in relaxation pose focusing on one happy thought. Of course the setting will be quite different in labor but I think putting myself in that mindset will help me to relax and the flexibility, breathing technique, and discipline of conscious relaxation that yoga teaches will all come in very handy.
Talking about what to expect physically and emotionally during the different stages of labor in class gave us a good idea what to expect. For example, Robin talked about the transition stage, when you are almost fully dilated and ready to push but not quite. The contractions are apparently quite intense at this point and for many women this is the most difficult part of the whole process. This is, using the Bradley mountain-climbing analogy, the steep part of the trek when you are near the mountain peak but can't see it yet. You're frustrated and maybe ready to give up. Yet, the big moment is almost there, and just recognizing these physical and emotional signposts as encouragement that the end is in sight may be enough to make this time much easier. This is also where the husband-coach can play a big role lending encouragement and a good massage and reminding the mother that the baby will be here very soon.
I suppose most birth classes show a video of an actual birth and ours was no exception. The video in question was from the late 70s/early 80s timeframe, reminding me that I was born during a time of truly unfortunate fashion trends. The mom and dad in the video were both wearing haircuts and clothes representative of the time, with dad even sporting the cheesy mustache, aka "pornstache" or "molestache." Vintage nostalgia/humor aside, it was helpful to see how she managed contractions and he supported her through them. At one point as we got to the pushing stage, the video showed a close-up of mom's face as she breathed through a push. The next shot, with no segueway, zoom-out, or panning downward whatsoever, was a close-up of the head crowning. It was funny, it took all of us in the room a second to realize what we were seeing, then everyone jumped back a bit in their seats! That scary visual notwithstanding, we did note that throughout the process, the mom didn't seem to be in overwhelming pain. It looked like hard work, but doable.
All in all I came away from these classes thinking, labor will be challenging but I know I can do it. The class that freaked me out a little was the very last one, when we talked about what happens after the birth and how to take care of this new little person. Long story short, what I took from that is, you're going to be pretty sore and tired and for the first few days you will barely want to get out of bed. Alas, resting will be a little tough to do what with this new tiny little person with lots of needs to meet.
While dad can do quite a few things, including diaper changes, baths, and soothing baby back to sleep, for those of us who opt to nurse, feedings are a job only mom can do in the early going. I definitely believe the benefits of breastfeeding are worth it, but the thought of round-the-clock feedings every 2 hours for the first weeks is pretty intimidating. I know Kevin will be a wonderfully hands-on father and will do all he can to help, and once we can introduce bottle feedings after a few weeks that'll let us share the feeding duties and let me sleep for longer periods of time. Hopefully those first few weeks will go quickly!
So, that's our Bradley class experience. Overall I think we both learned a lot and came out of it feeling pretty prepared and confident. Hopefully when the big day comes it will all pay off!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Week 32: Let's play Whack-A-Mole!
I remember the first time I felt Daniel kick. I was sitting at my desk at work and had my hand resting on my belly, when I felt what was unmistakeably a kick. Needless to say it was an exciting moment. For the next few weeks I felt them more and more often, but I wouldn't say they were uncomfortable or painful.
These last few weeks though, as Daniel keeps getting bigger and his temporary living space gets more and more cramped, those movements have sometimes become rather unpleasant and at times actually painful. It feels like I have an alien in my belly trying to break out!
Another interesting development as he gets bigger and the uterine lining and amniotic fluid barriers between him and me get thinner is that now I can feel not just movements, but body parts. I can't usually tell which part it is but I can definitely feel a limb poke out. I'll feel something poke me on my right ribs (a favorite spot for him, apparently) and push it in to get it off my ribs. A second later I'll feel some other part poke out on the other side. As soon as I push in on one spot, something pokes out somewhere else. It reminds me of the arcade game whack-a-mole. As soon as you bop one mole another one or two pop up.
Sometimes I think he likes to turn and wedge his backside against my ribs, because I'll feel a big bump that doesn't seem the right shape for a leg or arm. I'm actually rather impressed with how much he seems able to move around in there given the limited space. I can't imagine what it would feel like with twins-a sackful of fighting puppies, or maybe thrashing eels?
Even when it's uncomfortable, I remind myself that an active baby is a healthy baby, so if my ribs feel like a jungle gym and my bladder a trampoline, well, that just means little guy is growing bigger and stronger and developing the way he should. Kevin is convinced that this is proof that Daniel will be quite the athlete. If so, hopefully he inherited Daddy's athletic ability...I'm more enthusiastic about sports than I am good at them, so little guy didn't get much help in that department from me!
I'm guessing he'll be quite an active little wiggle-worm once he's born if this is a preview of his personality. That should make for an interesting challenge trying to change his diaper while he's squirming and thrashing around, all the while trying not to get peed on!
7 1/2 weeks to go...
These last few weeks though, as Daniel keeps getting bigger and his temporary living space gets more and more cramped, those movements have sometimes become rather unpleasant and at times actually painful. It feels like I have an alien in my belly trying to break out!
Another interesting development as he gets bigger and the uterine lining and amniotic fluid barriers between him and me get thinner is that now I can feel not just movements, but body parts. I can't usually tell which part it is but I can definitely feel a limb poke out. I'll feel something poke me on my right ribs (a favorite spot for him, apparently) and push it in to get it off my ribs. A second later I'll feel some other part poke out on the other side. As soon as I push in on one spot, something pokes out somewhere else. It reminds me of the arcade game whack-a-mole. As soon as you bop one mole another one or two pop up.
Sometimes I think he likes to turn and wedge his backside against my ribs, because I'll feel a big bump that doesn't seem the right shape for a leg or arm. I'm actually rather impressed with how much he seems able to move around in there given the limited space. I can't imagine what it would feel like with twins-a sackful of fighting puppies, or maybe thrashing eels?
Even when it's uncomfortable, I remind myself that an active baby is a healthy baby, so if my ribs feel like a jungle gym and my bladder a trampoline, well, that just means little guy is growing bigger and stronger and developing the way he should. Kevin is convinced that this is proof that Daniel will be quite the athlete. If so, hopefully he inherited Daddy's athletic ability...I'm more enthusiastic about sports than I am good at them, so little guy didn't get much help in that department from me!
I'm guessing he'll be quite an active little wiggle-worm once he's born if this is a preview of his personality. That should make for an interesting challenge trying to change his diaper while he's squirming and thrashing around, all the while trying not to get peed on!
7 1/2 weeks to go...
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Flashback: the day we knew our life would change forever
It occurs to me that I never blogged about the day we found out we were pregnant, so here goes:
First, to back up a bit, the weekend before, we went to Austin to ride in the Tour de Gruene, a bike ride (not race) along the river in the New Braunfels area, followed by a visit to Wurstfest. Here's a picture of me right after finishing the 50 mile bike ride. Kevin had done a shorter route than me so he had already gotten a post-ride refreshment and gave me a sip. Ironically, this is probably the first picture of me pregnant, though needless to say I had no idea at the time:
(Before I continue with the story, I must take a moment to point out that this picture sums up the life I don't have right now: no flat belly, no bike riding, and no adult beverages. Sigh...ok, moment of digression over.)
As that week went on I began to have a feeling that there might be a bun in the oven. I won't go so far as to say that I knew, but I had a strong hunch. Partly it was due to some physical signs (won't go into specific detail but you can read here about early pregnancy signs), but really it was more intuition than anything else. I remember going to yoga Thursday night and at the end during relaxation pose, when the instructor told us to focus on one happy thought, I thought about a baby.
Friday, November 6, was my 31st birthday. I had a "day off" award to cash in at work and I decided that a long weekend was a great birthday gift to give myself. I decided it would be a good day to try a pregnancy test to see if that hunch was correct.
I woke up around 6 out of habit and headed into the bathroom with pregnancy test in hand and waited to see what the verdict would be. The directions said it could take up to 3 minutes but I had my answer less than a minute later: a faint but unmistakeable plus sign in the result window.
It sounds odd to say, but I can honestly say I wasn't surprised. Happy, but not "oh my gosh I can't believe it!" so much as "I knew it!" I debated whether to wake Kevin up to share the good news or just tell him when we woke up but I was afraid if I waited the plus sign would fade away. Given that that plus sign is still visible, albeit a bit more faded, 7 months later, I suppose I could have let him sleep...ah well, I know for next time I guess ;)
I woke him up, showed him the test and told him he was going to be a daddy. I remember him saying "wow, cool!" Since neither of us had to be up so early we both tried to go back to sleep but of course after finding out such life-changing news it's pretty hard to sleep!
Just to make sure, later that morning I went to the drug store to get a different brand of test, this time one of the fancy digital ones that says "pregnant" or "not pregnant." Different test, same result.
On my days off I like to take advantage of the opportunity for a nice outdoor workout: bike ride, rollerblading, or a run. That day I went for a run, and as I did a few laps around the lake I remember thinking that someday soon I'd be pushing a stroller around the lake instead of running, and wondering how long I'd be able to keep up my usual exercise routine.
I don't remember everything else I did that day but I'm glad I was off work, I can't imagine I'd have been very focused on work and it would have been hard to keep the news to myself. I imagine it wasn't one of Kevin's most productive days ever at the office.
We had plans that night to go to Pappas Brothers to celebrate my birthday with Nicole and Marko. We decided to tell them the big news because 1) they are good friends who would be excited for us and play a big role in the little one's life, 2) we knew they would do the same, and 3) they were sure to notice that the birthday girl wasn't drinking at her own party. While we waited for them to arrive we talked about how to break the news. As it turned out they provided the perfect opening when they gave me my gift, a bottle of wine from a winery we visited in Napa Valley. I laughed when I saw it and told them I was looking forward to drinking it...in about 8 months or so! That bottle is still in our little wine fridge, and when I am able to partake again we'll have them over to share the bottle and celebrate the birth of Daniel and their son Alejandro...funny to think how much all of our lives have changed since that bottle was purchased last summer. It will be so fun to watch those two little guys grow up together!
Tonight I was thinking about it and realized they were also the first to know Kevin and I were engaged, because Kevin enlisted them in his proposal plans. They set up the park bench in Turtle Creek where he popped the question and stood guard there till Kevin secretly called them on our way over, then came back to congratulate us and take pictures, including this one.
That night was also a birthday celebration for me, albeit 2 days before my actual birthday. I hope I'm blessed with many more birthdays, but it's hard to imagine that any of the ones in my future can top 2006 or 2009. Those 2 have definitely set the bar pretty high! I am looking forward to the handmade happy birthday cards and gifts Daniel will make for me someday, and I'll enjoy telling him how finding out I was going to be his mommy made my 31st birthday exciting and unforgettable :)
First, to back up a bit, the weekend before, we went to Austin to ride in the Tour de Gruene, a bike ride (not race) along the river in the New Braunfels area, followed by a visit to Wurstfest. Here's a picture of me right after finishing the 50 mile bike ride. Kevin had done a shorter route than me so he had already gotten a post-ride refreshment and gave me a sip. Ironically, this is probably the first picture of me pregnant, though needless to say I had no idea at the time:
(Before I continue with the story, I must take a moment to point out that this picture sums up the life I don't have right now: no flat belly, no bike riding, and no adult beverages. Sigh...ok, moment of digression over.)
As that week went on I began to have a feeling that there might be a bun in the oven. I won't go so far as to say that I knew, but I had a strong hunch. Partly it was due to some physical signs (won't go into specific detail but you can read here about early pregnancy signs), but really it was more intuition than anything else. I remember going to yoga Thursday night and at the end during relaxation pose, when the instructor told us to focus on one happy thought, I thought about a baby.
Friday, November 6, was my 31st birthday. I had a "day off" award to cash in at work and I decided that a long weekend was a great birthday gift to give myself. I decided it would be a good day to try a pregnancy test to see if that hunch was correct.
I woke up around 6 out of habit and headed into the bathroom with pregnancy test in hand and waited to see what the verdict would be. The directions said it could take up to 3 minutes but I had my answer less than a minute later: a faint but unmistakeable plus sign in the result window.
It sounds odd to say, but I can honestly say I wasn't surprised. Happy, but not "oh my gosh I can't believe it!" so much as "I knew it!" I debated whether to wake Kevin up to share the good news or just tell him when we woke up but I was afraid if I waited the plus sign would fade away. Given that that plus sign is still visible, albeit a bit more faded, 7 months later, I suppose I could have let him sleep...ah well, I know for next time I guess ;)
I woke him up, showed him the test and told him he was going to be a daddy. I remember him saying "wow, cool!" Since neither of us had to be up so early we both tried to go back to sleep but of course after finding out such life-changing news it's pretty hard to sleep!
Just to make sure, later that morning I went to the drug store to get a different brand of test, this time one of the fancy digital ones that says "pregnant" or "not pregnant." Different test, same result.
On my days off I like to take advantage of the opportunity for a nice outdoor workout: bike ride, rollerblading, or a run. That day I went for a run, and as I did a few laps around the lake I remember thinking that someday soon I'd be pushing a stroller around the lake instead of running, and wondering how long I'd be able to keep up my usual exercise routine.
I don't remember everything else I did that day but I'm glad I was off work, I can't imagine I'd have been very focused on work and it would have been hard to keep the news to myself. I imagine it wasn't one of Kevin's most productive days ever at the office.
We had plans that night to go to Pappas Brothers to celebrate my birthday with Nicole and Marko. We decided to tell them the big news because 1) they are good friends who would be excited for us and play a big role in the little one's life, 2) we knew they would do the same, and 3) they were sure to notice that the birthday girl wasn't drinking at her own party. While we waited for them to arrive we talked about how to break the news. As it turned out they provided the perfect opening when they gave me my gift, a bottle of wine from a winery we visited in Napa Valley. I laughed when I saw it and told them I was looking forward to drinking it...in about 8 months or so! That bottle is still in our little wine fridge, and when I am able to partake again we'll have them over to share the bottle and celebrate the birth of Daniel and their son Alejandro...funny to think how much all of our lives have changed since that bottle was purchased last summer. It will be so fun to watch those two little guys grow up together!
Tonight I was thinking about it and realized they were also the first to know Kevin and I were engaged, because Kevin enlisted them in his proposal plans. They set up the park bench in Turtle Creek where he popped the question and stood guard there till Kevin secretly called them on our way over, then came back to congratulate us and take pictures, including this one.
That night was also a birthday celebration for me, albeit 2 days before my actual birthday. I hope I'm blessed with many more birthdays, but it's hard to imagine that any of the ones in my future can top 2006 or 2009. Those 2 have definitely set the bar pretty high! I am looking forward to the handmade happy birthday cards and gifts Daniel will make for me someday, and I'll enjoy telling him how finding out I was going to be his mommy made my 31st birthday exciting and unforgettable :)
Monday, May 17, 2010
San Francisco trip, etc.
So I have been slacking on the blogging and apparently left some people wondering if I was still in the evil clutches of vertigo. Fortunately that ran its course within about 2 weeks and hopefully was my one and only experience like that. I'm glad if it had to happen at least it happened last month and not closer to the due date...here's hoping for smooth sailing for the rest of the journey!
So what have we been up to the past few weeks? Well, 3 big things come to mind that are worth sharing: travel, Bradley classes, and the baby shower. I'll hit the travel this time then the other 2 in another post or two.
The weekend before last we went to the San Francisco area for my friend Amy's wedding. It was great to see her and be there for her and Vin's special day, and of course it was fun to get a little time in San Fran and Berkeley too.
The Washington trip last month forced me to come to terms with my limitations on travel, namely, that I had to limit my walking and get plenty of rest. So with that in mind, and having just been to San Fran last year and seen a lot then, we decided to limit ourselves to a hop-on, hop-off bus tour of the city Friday.
We hadn't gotten to explore the Coit Tower and North Beach area last time and wanted to do that, so we walked up the Filbert Street Steps from the Embarcadero to the Coit Tower. Filbert Street has only steps for part of the way, as the 31.5% gradient would be dangerous for motor vehicles. Some houses are accessible only by the steps, and there were beautiful gardens along the way. I made it up all 450-odd steps, though I did have to stop about every 20 yards to catch my breath. Courtesy of Wikipedia, here's a picture of the steps and gardens:
Coit Tower had a great view to the city and the murals inside were impressive. From there we walked a mile along North Beach to dinner, which was fantastic. And that was pretty much all the exertion we did for the whole trip, which was plenty for me.
That day at lunch, after doing my research and getting the green light from the OB, I enjoyed a dozen Pacific water oysters on the half shell at Hog Island. I had them last year and they were the best oysters I'd ever had, and since they are raised in cold, certified clean water and served fresh, I was hopeful that the concerns with raw Gulf oysters wouldn't be an issue with these. Fortunately the OB agreed. Had he said no, I'd have skipped them but it was a nice treat.
Saturday morning we explored downtown Berkeley. My review: great city, neat downtown area, but the lack of public restrooms=not pregnant-lady friendly. The afternoon brought Amy and Vin's wedding on the Berkeley campus, with a beautiful view behind them of the bay and San Fran. I'd never been to an Indian wedding before so it was really neat to see Amy in her beautiful sari and Vin in his dress clothes and to learn about the symbolism of the prayers and actions that made up the ceremony. The officiant they had, aside from having a nice sense of humor, was great about explaining what was happening at every step. The reception was fun too, and it was nice to catch up with Anne and Mike and Mary Jane and Andy, law school friends I don't get to see as much as I'd like. While it was a great trip, given that I probably set a record for number of times to use the restroom on a 3-hour flight on the way home, I think my travel days are behind me till after baby arrives.
That's all we have time for tonight. Next up: Bradley classes and the baby shower, and I'll try not to take another few weeks to get around to that. Also due for another belly shot!
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