First week as a working mom

I have officially completed my first week as a working mom and so far I have to say that while it's an adjustment, it's going pretty well. I was really feeling sad about having to leave him for the first time and built it up so much in my mind that the anticiption proved to be worse than the actual happening itself. Well, for the most part anyway.


Monday night I showered before going to bed so I would have one less thing to worry about the next day. Tuesday morning I got up and got ready but had to retouch my makeup because I would think about leaving Daniel and tear up again. I got Daniel up at 5:45, changed his diaper, then sat down on the couch with him to nurse. He ate for about 30 minutes then around 6:15 fell asleep eating. I held him for a few more minutes just listening to him breathe, feeling his little hands on my chest, and watching him sleep so peacefully. Finally when I couldn't wait any longer I carried him up the stairs to his crib, heart in my throat. I kissed him, told him I loved him, and set him in his crib then I was out the door and on my way to work.


I cried on the way there and had to take a moment before getting out of the car to compose myself. When I came in the front door at 7 I saw a friend at the receptionist's desk but didn't stop to talk because I knew I'd lose it if I had to talk about him right away. Fortunately I was the first in my area to arrive that morning so I had some time to myself to settle in and by the time more people came I felt better. I was still pretty on edge though and missing my baby. Then just as I was getting up to take my first pump break I got an email frome Kevin. It said "Hi Mommy, I miss being at home with you but Daddy and I are having a lot of fun," and had a picture from Kevin's phone camera showing a smiley, happy Daniel. It was just what I needed and I felt much better. I knew Daniel would be okay without me there but seeing that picture really helped.

Once I knew he was okay I was able to settle in and start getting caught up on work and enjoy seeing my coworkers again. Instead of tearing up when someone asked about Daniel I proudly showed them pictures. The rest of the day seemed to go pretty quickly and before I knew it it was 3:30 and time for me to leave, then 15 minutes later I was opening the garage door to the house and holding Daniel in my arms again.


The rest of the week went much better, especially when my office group brought in a breakfast spread to welcome me back on Wednesday (they waited till that day so my boss who had been out of town could be there). I was really touched by their thoughtfulness and it was nice to know they were glad to have me back and wanted to help make my first week back special.


I call home every day to see how Kevin and Daniel are doing. They've had a few tough moments but overall it's going well. Daniel is eating well and enjoying his days with Daddy. Because I get in to work so early I get off early too and spend the whole evening with them.


A day in the life
Here's a typical daily schedule now:
4:30 Wake up, feed cats, shower, dry hair, put on makeup
5:40 Get Daniel from crib, change him, feed him
6:30 Put Daniel back to bed, come back downstairs and use manual pump so I can start the day on "empty"
6:45-6:55 Leave for work
7:00-7:15 Arrive at work
10:00-10:25 First pump break
2:00-2:25 Second pump break
3:30-3:45 Leave for home
3:45-4:00 Arrive at home, feed Daniel
4:00-6:30 Spend time with Daniel
6:30-8:00 Give Daniel bath, feed him, put him to bed
8:00 Eat dinner
9:00 Pump so I can go to bed "empty", wash pump parts and pack bag for the next day
9:30ish Go to bed so I can get up and do it all over again (Okay, so I haven't been very dilligent about getting to bed this early, but I need to be!)


It's a full day and about every other day I'll do a load of laundry to wash our diapers. Right now I'm pumping much more milk than Daniel eats during the day (more on that in a minute) so in time I may drop the early morning and/or late night pumping sessions and any given day I could do it if I needed to. But I figure until I know how much I'll be pumping at work once my body starts thinking Daniel only eats twice between 6:30AM-4PM, it's better to err on the side of overproducing for now. We can always freeze excess milk but if I start having supply problems it'll take more work to overcome them.


Pumping
2 days after Daniel was born, when I was discharged from my hospital room and Daniel was still in the NICU, I sent Kevin out to buy my breast pump so I could pump milk for us to feed Daniel while I was still getting the hang of nursing. Since then, until Monday night, it had lived on my bathroom counter. In the early weeks I'd usually pump before going to bed then get up around 3AM to pump again so Kevin would have enough milk to cover 2 night feedings. Later as Daniel started sleeping more I dropped down to pumping just once a night. For the last few weeks I really didn't even need to do that because in a typical week Daniel would only get a few bottles, but I did it so I wouldn't have to go to bed full and to help pad our stash.


Monday night I packed up my bag and now it comes to work with me every day. Every morning and afternoon I go to the "Mother's room" in my building to pump. It's nothing fancy, just a repurposed supply closet, but it's got everything I need: a chair, table, electrical outlet, and not least important, a locking door.

Here's a picture.  Not sure why Blogger insists on showing it sideways when it's saved vertically, but you get the idea.
 

I get everything all set up and open a magazine to read. I set the timer on my cell phone for 15 minutes and start the pump. While the pump is doing its thing I pass the time by reading or playing on my phone. After the timer goes off I turn off the pump and carefully disassemble everything. I turn the pump back on with just the tubes connected and let it run for a few minutes to clear condensation from the tubes. I log my production into my Milk Maid app, put the milk bottles or bags into the cooler, and take the pump parts to the breakroom sink to wash them out. I leave the bag and all supplies in the room after my morning session and bring it back to my desk in the afternoon.


All in all it's a pretty decent setup. The only real inconvenience is having to pack everything up and get it back out each time. But with 3 of us using that room right now, we each have to leave it ready for the next lady.


I know some women hate pumping but I actually don't mind it. It definitely doesn't provide the satisfaction that nursing does but it's not unpleasant and it helps me feel connected to Daniel when I can't be there in person. I can't hold him in my arms but I'm still feeding him. Plus, it's nice to get to take time out of my day to be a mom...and to read a magazine, play Words with Friends, and catch up on Facebook.


I'm really grateful my office is supportive of working moms by making it easy for us. While the new health care law mandates that nearly all offices have to provide reasonable accomodations and pump breaks for breastfeeding moms (yay!), my office was already doing it before the law came into effect.


All in all, the first week went pretty well. And now that the weekend's here I'm looking forward to spending two whole days in a row with Daniel :)