DadDad

As my family prepares to welcome one new member, we are saying goodbye to another.  My grandfather "DadDad" passed away peacefully Sunday at the age of 95. 

 

Unfortunately at this late stage of the pregnancy we were not able to go see him one last time and we won't be able to make it to his funeral this weekend.  But we did see him and my grandmother over the Thanksgiving and New Years' holidays, and by some odd twist of luck, on both of those visits Daniel was uncharacteristically mellow and content to sit in their laps, so they got lots of cuddle time with their first great-grandchild. 

 

Here's my favorite picture of Daniel and DadDad together, taken over Thanksgiving:

When I was in 8th grade I chose him as the subject of an essay entitled "Someone I Admire," and some 20 years later the words and the title still ring true.  Here's my favorite part: "Dad Dad always thinks of others before himself.  For example, he might be cold,but if someone else is too, he will let the other person use his coat...he is also a warm, caring person who is always ready with a hug."

There are many stories about him that epitomize his generous spirit.  Once was when I was in college and a friend and I came out to the ranch over Thanksgiving break.  We arrived late one evening and DadDad, as usual, stayed up to greet us.  He met us at the door and insisted on carrying our suitcases in for us.  The next day I noticed whenever he walked his gait was stiff and halting.  I asked my grandmother about it and she said his knees were so bad that every step caused him pain.  Yet the night before he had carried our bags in without a word though it must have been quite painful.

I remember another visit around that time when my cousins and I were up one morning in the kitchen with DadDad having breakfast when we heard a little bell from my grandparents' bedroom.  We asked what that was and DadDad said, "That's Tinkerbell, she's ready for her tea," and he jumped up to make hot tea to deliver to my grandmother in bed.  At the time we joked, wow, that's high maintenance, but over the years I've thought back to that many times and realized that he must have loved to do that for her every morning.  It wasn't just that he got up and made the tea for her but the joy he took in doing it that remained with me through the years.

Which brings me to one more story about his love for her.  New Years' Eve 2011 my aunt and uncle brought DadDad and MomMom out to the ranch for the day.  MomMom had some health issues at that point that meant she couldn't stay overnight but DadDad could.  So the plan was that they would take her home that evening and bring DadDad home the following day.  Well, that may have been everyone else's plan but when it was time for her to leave DadDad insisted on going home with her saying "she might need me."  He dearly loved the ranch and spending time with the rest of the family but the decision of whether to stay there without her or go home early was no decision for him at all.

He and my grandmother had a wonderful love story.  They were engaged for 5 years while he served overseas in World War II.  My grandmother didn't want to be a war widow so they postponed marrying till he returned but they wrote each other letters nearly every day that they were apart.

They married on December 4, 1945.  After the war was over he was sent back to the US.  After several weeks on a ship he arrived in Virginia and boarded a train for San Antonio.  A few days later he arrived at the depot in San Antonio and had to go through hours of outprocessing before he could leave.  Finally he had dotted his i's and crossed his t's, paid his taxes to the IRS (the first person waiting to meet them off the train was the tax man!) and he was ready to leave but it was so late that the person who was to clear his exit said he wasn't senior enough to clear the exit for my grandfather, a lieutenant colonel, so DadDad would have to wait for someone else to come authorize the release. 

DadDad asked the young man where he had spent the past 5 years, to which he replied, here in San Antonio.  DadDad's response: "well I've been away from my family and fiancee all that time, and they're on the other side of that door.  Here's my address, you know how to reach me if you need to, but I'm leaving."  And then he strode out the door to begin his civilian life.  This was in late November.  Given that, the early December wedding date shows that after 5 years of waiting patiently, they weren't about to wait any longer to begin their married life.  They enjoyed 67 happy years of marriage after that.

 

They were blessed with 7 grandchildren and through the years they seldom missed a Grandparents' Day or school play and they proudly cheered us on at graduations and weddings.  My cousins and I lost our maternal grandfathers when we were young so DadDad filled the grandpa role for all 7 of us pretty much single-handedly.  He obviously loved being a grandfather and was never too busy to spend time with us.

He and my grandmother were ecstatic to become great-grandparents when Daniel was born, and while the name Daniel honors my dad's family in general it honors DadDad in particular.  I regret that my second child won't get to meet DadDad but I'll enjoy sharing stories with my kids about their great-grandfather.