Birth announcement: sneak preview

I just ordered our birth announcements and am looking forward to seeing the finished product.  In the meantime you can see a preview here:

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

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Imagination

Lately Daniel has really become creative and imaginative in his play.  The other night he was eating a cookie for dessert when he held up the half-eaten cookie and declared that it was a fire truck as he "drove" it around his tray.  Then when a small piece fell off he decided it was a wheel.  Sometimes he'll turn up his nose at "broken" food but when I told him the wheel jumped off to hop in his mouth he found that explanation satisfactory and ate it!

 

Then tonight as we read "Goodnight Moon", when we got to the page about the bowlful of mush he called it yogurt (which, as he has noted for months, it does look like) and pretended to eat it and then feed me from a spoon.  Then he decided that we needed coffee with it so he pretended to taste my coffee.  Usually when I'm drinking coffee he'll dip his finger in to taste it (after I make sure it's not too hot, of course) so he did the same thing with our fake coffee.

 

After "Goodnight Moon" we read "Pajama Time" to finish our night and as he pointed to different characters on the pages he told me who they were.  At first I was a bit offended when he pointed to the giant hippo and said "that's Mommy!" but later I was a little bunny so that was better ;)  Daddy, "Alejandro's daddy", his teacher Ms Becca, and school friends were all included.  Then when he saw the chicken character on one page he pretended to eat it as a snack...hmm, random coincidence or has he connected the dots between chicken he eats and pictures of chickens?  A few months ago when we were eating turkey he quoted the line "trot like a turkey" from the same book.  Dinner could get interesting if he starts recognizing his barnyard friends on his plate.

Speaking of animals, whenever we go up the stairs he insists that we crawl up on all fours "like a kitty."  (Fortunately for Mommy he waited to start this game until after his little sister was born!)  As we crawl up the stairs he'll meow like a cat.

It's fun to see him using his imagination so much lately.  It certainly made for an entertaining story time tonight!

2 weeks old!

Two weeks ago this morning I was at home still not in labor, still wondering when this baby was going to come.  But by later that night I was holding our daughter.  She took her time on the inside but once she was ready to go she was ready to go!

 

So far, so good

Rebecca has followed up an easy labor by being an easy baby.  I thought Daniel was an easy baby but at this rate by comparison we'll look back on him as the difficult one!  So far this girl likes to sleep most of the time, eats well, and seldom cries.  She loves being held and will snooze contentedly in my ring sling for hours on end, which means she can nap as I run errands. 

 

Speaking of errands, I've felt much more comfortable leaving the house with her than I did with Daniel at this age.  With him I thought what if he cries?  what if he needs to eat?  what if he needs to sleep?  With her, I pack a nursing cover and just feed her where we are and let her nap in the sling.  The other day I was even brave enough to take both kids to Target by myself.  She slept in the sling, he sat in the shopping cart seat and was my shopping helper.  I remember being really nervous my first few times taking Daniel out but with her it seems easy.

 

The only real "problem" Rebecca has is a tendency for out-of-diaper poop experiences.  Apparently she likes to hold back most of the mess until the old diaper is off then unleash it all as soon as she's been cleaned.  Even though I change many more diapers than Kevin (since I'm the one home with her during the day) somehow he's the one this always happens to!  The first few times it surprised him but now he expects it.  But, diaper change surprises notwithstanding, she's an easy baby.

 

We've actually been in a pretty predictable night time routine almost literally from day one.  She eats around 10-11 at night then sleeps until somewhere between 3-5, eats, then sleeps again until 8-9.  Yes, our 2 week old is already sleeping 5+ hours at a stretch and only waking once during the night to eat!  The first few nights I thought, this is great but it won't last.  It wouldn't surprise me if she changes up the script once she starts having alert periods during the day but so far it's nice to have such an easy night schedule.  With Daniel, Kevin and I took shifts and I pumped bottles for Kevin to feed, but with Rebecca only waking once I've just been nursing every feeding and we've only given her one bottle.  I'll start working in 1-2 pump sessions a day over the next week or so now that nursing is well established so she can get used to taking a bottle and I can leave her with Kevin to run weekend errands.

 

She lost her umbilical cord stump when she was 6 days old so she's had a few real baths now.  She seemed to like the bath fairly well.  I sat in the tub and held her, remembering that Daniel much preferred that to the baby tub we tried for him at first.  He hated his first bath, as shown here (and, as you can also see, Rebecca looks quite a lot like he did as a newborn):

 

Big brother

Speaking of Daniel, he's handling the adjustment from only child to big brother quite well.  He is definitely a little clingier to me and wants more Mommy attention.  For a long time he wanted to sit on the recliner chair arm during nightly story time but now he insists on my lap every time (of course, it's also easier to sit in my lap now that there's not a big baby bump there!) and he runs up and wraps his arms around my legs when he sees me and is much more liberal with the hugs and kisses.  But he hasn't shown much jealousy except in the evenings after I pick him up and before Kevin gets home, when I'm nursing Rebecca and he wants my attention too. 

 

He's generally very sweet with her, asking to hold her, giving hugs and kisses, and getting very concerned when she cries.  He also burst into tears once and kept sobbing "baby!" while watching Kevin change her diaper.  She wasn't crying so I'm not sure if he was worried for her or his sense of propriety was offended by her failure to use the potty!  Yesterday when I was changing her he came over, unprompted, and offered me a clean diaper for her.  He likes being Mommy and Daddy's helper!

 

One nice perk for him has been that as our friends have come by to meet Rebecca Daniel has enjoyed having playdates with their kids.  We've had a few "teaching moments" about sharing his toys but for the most part he does very well with it.  And with the nice weather we've had this "winter" (is 70 degrees in February nice or an ominous sign for the summer?  we'll see...) that has meant several chances to go to the playground near the house.  He's gotten several thoughtful "big brother" gifts too which have helped him feel special.

 

Now that we have a baby in the house again I can really appreciate just how much Daniel has grown and what he can do.  2 1/2 years ago he was a newborn baby and now he's an active toddler who knows lots of books and songs, can count to 10, eat on his own, use the potty, and speak in complex sentences.  Sometimes I have to remind myself he's still a little boy too because compared to her he seems so big and mature.  Every time I pick him up now I think, wow, when did you get this heavy? 

 

Being reminded of how much he's grown makes me even prouder of my little guy.  It's so fun to see his personality develop and now to see him grow into the big brother role.   It'll be interesting to see how much Rebecca takes after him and in what ways they are different.

 

Body by baby

All told, I gained about 35 pounds during my pregnancy.  So far I've lost about 15lbs of that and can once again wear regular pants without an elastic waistband, albeit 2 sizes bigger than my pre-pregnancy wardrobe.  It's nice to pack up all my maternity clothes and be able to easily reach my feet to put on shoes.

 

Here's my last belly shot during pregnancy (39 weeks):

 

 

 

And here I am one week postpartum:

 

 

 

I've missed being active and am eager to get back to running as soon as I can.  Hopefully between that, nursing, and eating well I can get back or almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight by the time I return to work in May.

 

I've been feeling pretty good since we got home from the hospital.  For the first few days sitting was a little painful but that got better quickly and I've had no discomfort since.  Thanks to Rebecca's easy night schedule I feel plenty rested without having to nap during the day.  My back gets a little sore if I wear her for a long time during the day but that's about all I can complain about physically.  I have to remind myself that I am recovering from just having had a baby, because I feel pretty good and have plenty of energy.

 

So far, having 2 kids has definitely been easier than I expected.  We'll see what the coming weeks and months bring but we couldn't have asked for an easier start.

It's a girl!

We have a daughter!  Rebecca Lynn Williamson was born on Monday, February 11 at 9:20pm.  Now we have a beautiful girl to go with our beautiful boy!

 

Here's a picture of her in her going-home outfit.  Since we chose not to find out the gender ahead of time we had a neutral outfit, but on the chance we had a daughter I had bought a maroon headband so she'd have something "girly" to wear home.
 

So far she looks a lot like Daniel did as a baby.  Her hair is a little darker than his was but a similar reddish-brown shade.  Her eyes are the dark blue of most newborns.  It'll be fun to see as she gets older who she favors more.  Daniel is my little mini-me; will she be blonde and blue-eyed too or take after Kevin's coloring?  Whose nose, chin, fingers, etc. will she get?  When I look at baby pictures of Daniel I think he looks "more like himself" the older he gets as his features become more distinct.  I'm sure in a year or two as I look back at Rebecca's baby pictures I'll think the same thing as, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see the little girl she's going to become in her newborn pictures.

Birth story

I delivered Rebecca at the same hospital where Daniel was born, Baylor Medical Center in Dallas, with the same midwife, Cecily, and doula, Maria.  And as with Daniel, I delivered naturally with no epidural or any other medical interventions.   Other than those common elements though, the births were quite different.  If Daniel's was a marathon, Rebecca's was a 5k!
 

The weekend before

Since we still had no baby, we made the most of our weekend, attending not one but two birthday parties for Daniel's friends and visiting the Sea Life Aquarium.  I also took advantage of the chance to see the Les Miserables movie with my mom for a last girls' night out.  Throughout the weekend I was feeling Braxton Hicks contractions but otherwise nothing to indicate labor was imminent.  But by Sunday evening it definitely felt like the baby was starting to move lower.  I knew that for second babies dropping generally happened once labor was imminent.  As I had every night for a week, I went to bed wondering if I'd wake up in labor at some point in the night but Monday morning came with no new developments.

Early Monday
I got up when my alarm went off and prepared to go to work but decided not to go in.  Between the dropping feeling that seemed even stronger than the night before, the fact that I had a checkup scheduled that afternoon anyway, and the dread of facing another round of "you still haven't had that baby yet?" questions, I decided to stay home from work and see how the day progressed.

 

I stayed productive by taking a walk, cleaning out the file cabinet, closing on a refi loan for our house (and wondering as I signed and dated a huge stack of papers whether that date would turn out to be a memorable one for us!), and helping Kevin jumpstart his car.  When he tried to leave for work that morning he discovered that his battery was dead.  Knowing that a drive to the hospital was in our near future he got it replaced right away.  As it turned out this was very fortunate timing!

Our last prenatal checkup 

My 3:10 checkup time came and Kevin and I headed to the hospital.  I had researched induction and even downloaded an app to my phone to calculate my Bishop score so that I'd be prepared for a conversation about that.  Our intention was still to wait as long as possible to allow labor to start on its own.  In the car on the way there I remember telling Kevin I felt a contraction but wasn't sure if it was Braxton Hicks or something real.

 

At the appointment I learned that I was 2cm dilated, 80% effaced, and in early labor.  Not only was the induction conversation now a moot point, Cecily said we'd be back that night to have our baby!  We had planned for a sonogram that day to check the amniotic fluid level so we stuck around for that to make sure there was no reason I needed to be admitted right away.

We had to wait about 45 minutes for the sonogram and I started timing my contractions around 4:00 as they were becoming more regular.  They were lasting roughly a minute and the interval between them steadily decreased from 15 minutes to 8 over the next hour.  The sonogram showed a healthy baby (I reminded the sonographer that we didn't know the gender-I wasn't about to wait that long only to have the surprise ruined at the last minute!) and adequate fluid levels, but baby was sleepy.  I guess she knew what was coming and was getting her rest while she could!

Laboring at home 

We left the hospital about 5:15 planning to spend our evening at home with Daniel then leave for the hospital after he was in bed.  By the time we got home contractions were coming about every 5 minutes but they weren't really uncomfortable.  I stood and swayed side to side and was able to talk through them so I thought we were still in the early stages.  After all, Daniel's labor had taken 37 hours and it had only been about 2 so far.  I didn't want to be the girl who cried labor too early and get sent home again!

 

I started to make birthday cupcakes for the baby (like I did for Daniel) but then outsourced that task to my mom so I could address Daniel's valentines for his class party.  I decided to eat while I still could in case I had a long labor ahead of me so I made some tortellini with red sauce and opened up a Powerade (carb loading!).  After dinner Kevin bathed Daniel while I packed last-minute items into our hospital bags. 

By the time I went in during story time to hug and kiss Daniel goodnight the contractions were intense enough that I had to stand up and couldn't easily talk through them.  I definitely thought we were in active labor but wasn't sure how far along we were.  The contractions were strong but didn't seem to last more than about 30 seconds before I'd get several minutes' reprieve.  They didn't seem to fit the 5/1/1 rule about when to go to the hospital: contractions at least every 5 minutes lasting at least 1 minute for at least 1 hour.

 

Nevertheless I thought it was time to call Cecily and check in.  I picked up my phone and was about to call when another contraction started.  During this one I felt a little "pop" sensation and then wetness.  I ran to the bathroom to check and discovered that my water had broken and we had bloody show.  With Daniel things happened fairly quickly after my water broke so I told Kevin it was time to go so we hopped in the car and sped off a little after 8:00.  Thank goodness my mom was with us and already knew Daniel's routine so all we had to say was "we're off!"  And thank goodness we'd replaced his car's battery just that morning.  That would not have been a good time to discover a dead battery!

 

 

 

I called Cecily and Maria and they set off for the hospital too.  I also called our birth photographer and she asked us to call back once we were there and I had been checked.  Kevin drove like a man possessed and we made it to the hospital at around 8:30.  He later said he was afraid I'd be having the baby on the side of the road.  I knew we weren't that close-having been there done that I knew we had not reached the transition stage yet.  That said, the contractions were coming frequently and felt pretty intense, but probably worse because I was stuck siting down rather than being able to stand and move through them.

 

We got admitted to L&D room #1, just catty-corner from the room where Daniel had been born.  The nurses hooked me up to a series of monitors to check baby's heartbeat and the contractions.  I opted to stand by the bed rather than lie down and I continued to sway through the contractions.  Cecily arrived right behind us and checked my dilation.  I was 6cm along and definitely in active labor now.  Maria arrived shortly thereafter and our dream team was in place.

 

I wasn't able to talk during contractions anymore so I told Kevin to call our photographer to let her know to come ASAP.  He called and said "this baby will be here tonight, probably within a few hours."  What I wanted to say was, "that doesn't impress upon her the appropriate sense of urgency, you need to be more specific" but all I could get out was "no, she needs to come NOW!"

 

By now every time a contraction hit the pain was intense enough that I needed Kevin to rub my lower back to provide counter pressure.  In the little time he'd have between my contractions he was busy grabbing a wet washcloth to wipe my forehead, bringing me Powerade, and filling the bathtub with water, just in case the birth tub didn't arrive in time.

 

I knew from our Bradley classes and past experience that we were now in transition-the intense stage of labor where the cervix dilates from about 7 to 10cm.  It's the most intense and unpleasant stage of labor but also the shortest.  But just like pushing through a tough stretch in a race, it's really more about mental strength than physical.  I reminded myself that the very fact that I was in pain and wondering if I had it in me to do this again was proof that I was near the end and would be holding my baby soon.  And having done this before with Daniel I knew I could do it again.

 

One hallmark of the transition stage is grouchiness.  It's good I wasn't vocal at this point because I was certainly having grouchy thoughts about the nurses and techs with their questions and blood draws and having to stay on the monitors.  Fortunately I skipped one of the other hallmarks of transition-throwing up!  So apparently a hearty pasta dinner is a good choice just before active labor...no ice chips for me!

 

By now I was feeling the pressure that I knew meant it was about time to push.  All I wanted was to get in the water so I asked to get off the monitors.  As we headed for the bathroom, the nurse presented me with a stack of forms I needed to sign.  I didn't even pretend to read them and just scribbled signatures, so after the first few pages she said, "just go!" and we went to the tub.

I knelt in the tub with my hands on the side walls and Kevin took off his shoes and socks, rolled up his jeans, and stood in the tub behind me.  Cecily and Maria stood by.  I felt the urge to push and started to but apparently a tad soon, earning myself a tear.  Cecily told me to slow down, take a few breaths, put my hands under me to catch, and then push again when I was ready.

I don't recall how many pushes it took but it can't have been more than 2 or 3 before our baby's head emerged.  Cecily told me to push one more time to get the shoulders out and then I caught our baby in my arms.  I heard Cecily ask the nurse in the main room for the time-9:20.  I looked down and saw our baby's head, then, with Kevin looking over my shoulder, I slowly pulled the baby up and out from under me. 

After 41 weeks of wondering it was time to find out if we had a son or daughter.  Finally we could see and Kevin called out "we got a girl!"  Having now done it both ways I have to say, it was great to find out in that moment by looking at her instead of just having a sonographer point to a screen to show us.  I'll always remember that moment and the excitement in Kevin's voice as he called it out.

"To finish will leave you feeling like a champion and positively change your life. "- Runners World inspirational quote for 2/11/13

From this point on our experience was brand new compared to last time.  When Daniel was born the NICU team tended to him immediately and after I got to hold him for only 2 minutes, he was taken to the NICU wing.  This time though, we actually got to experience the post-birth rooming-in experience that Baylor tells expectant parents about on their tour.

With umbilical cord still attached we made our way back into the room and I got into bed for some cuddle time with my baby girl.  Cecily gently pulled the placenta out (just like with Daniel I didn't need any pitocin to deliver it) and stitched up the tear.  Meanwhile Kevin was calling family and friends to spread the news that we had a healthy baby girl.  Our photographer arrived too late to catch the birth itself but got some wonderful pictures of Rebecca and us over the next few hours.  Maria took some too with my camera. We didn't get those early hours with Daniel so getting to experience them and get pictures this time was great.  Here are a few of them:

Rebecca briefly went over to the warmer for measurements and to warm up then she was swaddled and brought back to me.  I got dressed and sat in a wheelchair with her in my arms to go up to recovery (I was able to walk but for baby's safety moms are wheeled). 

The recovery room was much like the one we had before but with an important difference.  Where a hospital-grade pump had stood last time was a bassinet for Rebecca.  I didn't need a pump.  My baby wasn't down the hall in the NICU available only at certain hours.  She was right here in the room and I could hold her and feed her anytime. 

It hadn't really hit me how much I missed out on with Daniel until I visited friends in the hospital after their babies were born and saw bassinets instead of pumps in their rooms and thought, that's because they aren't separated from their baby like I was.  When we toured Baylor's L&D area last month the tour guide told the roomful of expectant parents about Baylor's rooming-in option and said that those early hours and days are so important for bonding and you can't get them back.  I looked around that room and thought, none of these women is imagining right now that she'll be the one who misses that because her baby is in the NICU; when we took that tour the first time I certainly never thought it would be me.  But I also knew now from experience that those first hours and days, special though they might be, don't determine everything.   An hour is an hour and a day is a day and if the first ones didn't go as planned, there were plenty more to follow.  I didn't want to do that again but knew we'd be fine if we had to.

That said, it was wonderful to have Rebecca in the room with us and to be able to hold her whenever we wanted.  At one point that first night she couldn't sleep after a feeding so I fell asleep sitting up in bed holding her close, something I couldn't have done with Daniel.  For the most part she was a quiet baby, content to sleep a lot (still true now that we're home!).

The next day brought visits from family and friends.  Here's a picture of Daniel meeting his little sister for the first time.  He was very sweet with her wanting to give hugs and kisses.  Then Aunt Katherine and Uncle Scott gave him a toy truck and he discovered that toy trucks are more interesting than baby sisters!

Wednesday morning Rebecca and I were both discharged as patients and it was time to go home.  Since then we've all been adjusting and settling into life as a family of 4.  So far it's actually been easier than I expected, knock on wood.  I suspect that will change as she sleeps less and is alert more, but I'll enjoy easy while we have it!

We're so blessed to have two wonderful, healthy children!

 

The 5 stages of going past your due date

So here we are several days past my due date with no baby yet and no indications that labor is imminent.  Physically I feel pretty much like I have for the past few weeks, which is to say I'm fairly uncomfortable but no worse than you'd expect for the final weeks of pregnancy.  But mentally it's frustrating to have reached the endpoint we've been looking forward to for the last 9 months yet still be out of reach of the prize. 

 

It's like training for a marathon, finishing 26.2 miles then being told to continue running in place for some undetermined time before you're done.  I know due dates are arbitrary and had even mentally added a few days to ours to give a little cushion but we've passed that date as well as the "official" one and for all I know we might have hours, days, or even another week to go and just like running in place, the scenery doesn't change.

 

My plan all along has been to work until labor begins, health permitting, so I've been at work every day this week.  While the constant barrage of "you still haven't had that baby yet?" questions gets annoying, staying busy has definitely helped the days to pass more quickly than they would have if I were sitting at home.  Plus, I'm not burning leave time before the baby gets here and will be able to spend my full planned 12 week leave period with the baby. 

 

In the evenings I get home and enjoy the time with Daniel, always mindful that this might be his last night as an only child.  My mom's been here since Sunday so she can watch him once we head to the hospital and he has been loving the time with her.  He loves school and his extended care friends but it's a treat for him to spend his afternoons with Mimi instead this week. And when we do finally head off to have the baby I know he'll be enjoying his time with her rather than being worried or upset that we're not there.

 

So I mentioned the 5 stages in the title.  The theory is that when a person grieves they go through 5 different emotional stages in processing it.  After this week I can say the same theory holds in dealing with a late baby.  If I were artsy like the Crappy Pictures blogger this post would be decorated with funny pictures, but since I'm not we'll just imagine the accompanying illustrations.

 

Denial: No, we're not going to go past our due date again.  Surely not.  Or at least, not as long as last time.  This can't be happening again...

 

Anger: This sucks.  I'm tired of being pregnant, tired of waiting, tired of being asked by everyone I see "when are you gonna have that baby?"  Enough already!

 

Bargaining: Maybe if I eat [insert spicy food] that'll push this baby over the edge.  Alas, so far all it pushes over the edge is my heartburn.

 

Depression: I'm going to be pregnant forever.  I'll be at work again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.    Because THIS BABY IS NEVER COMING.

 

Acceptance: Finally got there today.  This baby will come when s/he is ready and absent indications to the contrary, I'll assume that until that happens, this baby is still better in than out.  This morning on the way to work I decided to treat myself to a Frappucino and bought bagels for my work group to thank them for helping to make this week more bearable. Hopefully tomorrow they're finishing up the leftovers without me but if there's no baby yet and I go to work yet again at least I'll have a good breakfast to look forward to.

 

At my appointment Monday Cecily offered that if I got this far with no baby that I could come in to have my membranes swept if I wanted to try to speed things along.  I can't say the idea of moving things along wasn't tempting but I decided against it.  If I've waited this long I can wait another few hours/days for this kid to arrive on his/her own.  If we end up with another NICU situation without elective interventions that would be one thing, but if I tried this and then we ended up with a complication I'd feel responsible.  So unless something changes between now and then I won't see her till my next appointment on Monday.  If we get to that point we'll have a sonogram to make sure kiddo is still thriving, and depending what it shows we can decide if it's still appropriate to wait or if we need to induce.

 

We'll see what tomorrow brings.  Hopefully it brings a baby.  But if it doesn't, I'll try to stay in acceptance mode and trust that this baby knows better than the calendar when s/he should be born.

 

 

 

 

Labor "marathon" signs

One of the fun parts of running in a big race event is seeing all the spectators lining the course holding up funny and/or inspirational signs.  A few months ago when my friend Nicole was headed to the hospital to deliver her daughter I thought, what kind of signs would labor spectators hold up to entertain or encourage the laboring mom?  Here's what I came up with:

You're so close, almost there! (funny at 1cm, annoying at 4cm, and encouraging at push)

 

Don't stop now, people are watching!

 

You think this is hard, try having a baby...oh, right.

 

Chuck Norris DEFINITELY never did this.

 

You're totally beating Oprah!

 

Push faster my arms are tired from holding this sign

 

I like your stamina, call me later!

 

That's not sweat, it's liquid awesome

 

Try not to poop yourself

 

This seemed like a good idea 9 months ago...

 

Tear now, brag forever!

 

If this were easy, everyone would do it

 

Orange juice and cookies at the finish

 

Pain now, wine later

 

Pain is weakness leaving the body

 

You think your nipples were sore after running...

 

You've already gone further than most people ever will

 

Go Mommy Go!

Your baby is waiting at the finish line!

In other news, baby seems content to hang out where s/he is for the time being.  The big day could be tomorrow or it could be another week.  On the one hand I'm eager to meet our baby and not be pregnant any more so I can certainly understand why some women get impatient by this point and opt to induce electively.  On the other hand, if I've waited this long, what's another few days?  While baby would almost certainly be fine now, the fact that labor hasn't started on its own is a good indication to me that for whatever reason, baby still belongs on the inside.  So while I'm most definitely ready whenever this kid wants to come out and play, I'm fine waiting for it to happen on its own.  It'll be worth the wait!

Here are what might be my last pregnant belly shots:

 

DadDad

As my family prepares to welcome one new member, we are saying goodbye to another.  My grandfather "DadDad" passed away peacefully Sunday at the age of 95. 

 

Unfortunately at this late stage of the pregnancy we were not able to go see him one last time and we won't be able to make it to his funeral this weekend.  But we did see him and my grandmother over the Thanksgiving and New Years' holidays, and by some odd twist of luck, on both of those visits Daniel was uncharacteristically mellow and content to sit in their laps, so they got lots of cuddle time with their first great-grandchild. 

 

Here's my favorite picture of Daniel and DadDad together, taken over Thanksgiving:

When I was in 8th grade I chose him as the subject of an essay entitled "Someone I Admire," and some 20 years later the words and the title still ring true.  Here's my favorite part: "Dad Dad always thinks of others before himself.  For example, he might be cold,but if someone else is too, he will let the other person use his coat...he is also a warm, caring person who is always ready with a hug."

There are many stories about him that epitomize his generous spirit.  Once was when I was in college and a friend and I came out to the ranch over Thanksgiving break.  We arrived late one evening and DadDad, as usual, stayed up to greet us.  He met us at the door and insisted on carrying our suitcases in for us.  The next day I noticed whenever he walked his gait was stiff and halting.  I asked my grandmother about it and she said his knees were so bad that every step caused him pain.  Yet the night before he had carried our bags in without a word though it must have been quite painful.

I remember another visit around that time when my cousins and I were up one morning in the kitchen with DadDad having breakfast when we heard a little bell from my grandparents' bedroom.  We asked what that was and DadDad said, "That's Tinkerbell, she's ready for her tea," and he jumped up to make hot tea to deliver to my grandmother in bed.  At the time we joked, wow, that's high maintenance, but over the years I've thought back to that many times and realized that he must have loved to do that for her every morning.  It wasn't just that he got up and made the tea for her but the joy he took in doing it that remained with me through the years.

Which brings me to one more story about his love for her.  New Years' Eve 2011 my aunt and uncle brought DadDad and MomMom out to the ranch for the day.  MomMom had some health issues at that point that meant she couldn't stay overnight but DadDad could.  So the plan was that they would take her home that evening and bring DadDad home the following day.  Well, that may have been everyone else's plan but when it was time for her to leave DadDad insisted on going home with her saying "she might need me."  He dearly loved the ranch and spending time with the rest of the family but the decision of whether to stay there without her or go home early was no decision for him at all.

He and my grandmother had a wonderful love story.  They were engaged for 5 years while he served overseas in World War II.  My grandmother didn't want to be a war widow so they postponed marrying till he returned but they wrote each other letters nearly every day that they were apart.

They married on December 4, 1945.  After the war was over he was sent back to the US.  After several weeks on a ship he arrived in Virginia and boarded a train for San Antonio.  A few days later he arrived at the depot in San Antonio and had to go through hours of outprocessing before he could leave.  Finally he had dotted his i's and crossed his t's, paid his taxes to the IRS (the first person waiting to meet them off the train was the tax man!) and he was ready to leave but it was so late that the person who was to clear his exit said he wasn't senior enough to clear the exit for my grandfather, a lieutenant colonel, so DadDad would have to wait for someone else to come authorize the release. 

DadDad asked the young man where he had spent the past 5 years, to which he replied, here in San Antonio.  DadDad's response: "well I've been away from my family and fiancee all that time, and they're on the other side of that door.  Here's my address, you know how to reach me if you need to, but I'm leaving."  And then he strode out the door to begin his civilian life.  This was in late November.  Given that, the early December wedding date shows that after 5 years of waiting patiently, they weren't about to wait any longer to begin their married life.  They enjoyed 67 happy years of marriage after that.

 

They were blessed with 7 grandchildren and through the years they seldom missed a Grandparents' Day or school play and they proudly cheered us on at graduations and weddings.  My cousins and I lost our maternal grandfathers when we were young so DadDad filled the grandpa role for all 7 of us pretty much single-handedly.  He obviously loved being a grandfather and was never too busy to spend time with us.

He and my grandmother were ecstatic to become great-grandparents when Daniel was born, and while the name Daniel honors my dad's family in general it honors DadDad in particular.  I regret that my second child won't get to meet DadDad but I'll enjoy sharing stories with my kids about their great-grandfather.