Family wedding weekend

This weekend we went to College Station to celebrate my cousin Paul's wedding. Daniel family weddings are always fun opportunities to catch up with family members but I was also looking forward to this weekend as the first time to introduce Daniel and Rebecca to the city and university I called home for 4 years.

Friday after a 3 1/2 hour drive to get there our first order of business was a quick swim in the hotel pool to let the kids burn off some energy before dinner. Afterward as we were getting ready to head out to dinner we noticed several other members of the big extended Daniel family had checked in and asked around to see if anyone wanted to join us. 

My cousin Paul (not the one getting married), his wife Tarsy, and their 2 kids Becca (14) and William (11 1/2, as he proudly noted), were staying right next to us and decided to come with us so we enjoyed a fun evening of catching up with them over an Italian dinner and a few glasses of wine. Their kids were so sweet and engaging with my kids-those fun, cool "big kids" that little ones just adore. I remember at our wedding 8 years ago Becca was one of the little girls who were enchanted with the bride (me!) and little William was the little boy rocking out on the dance floor wearing a pair of binoculars around his neck!

Saturday after breakfast we went over to campus to look around. Kyle Field, the football stadium, has undergone some significant upgrades (still in progress) so we started by walking around to see the exterior changes. One of the new additions is a sculpture of a group of students sawing the horns during the Aggie War Hymn. I don't particularly care for it myself (the people look weird to me) but Rebecca was downright scared of it and cried and clambered to get away (probably not the response the artist was looking for!).

After that we explored the MSC (Memorial Student Center). The kids liked the flag room and the wall of wooden carvings of A&M's history. I was impressed to see all the renovations that have been done since my time there.

After that we went to the Bonfire Memorial. I've been to see it a few times and it's always a moving experience. The collapse happened my junior year and as it happens, I was on campus that very night, camped out along with a group of friends waiting to "pull" our tickets for the annual rivalry game with Texas. It's been nearly 16 years but a sad, surreal experience I'll never forget.

We explained it to the kids in a very simple, age-appropriate way: some boys and girls were working building a project here and a terrible accident happened and people got really hurt, and this memorial remembers the bonfire tradition and the people who were there that night. Rebecca was too young to take anything from it but Daniel was very affected by it. 

As we walked around looking at the portals honoring the 12 victims he asked more about them and if they were all better. We told him that these people whose pictures he saw had gotten hurt so badly that the doctors couldn't fix them and they had died and gone on to Jesus's house (a topic we'd talked about a lot last year when our old cat, Todd, died). He asked if they had moms and dads and if they were sad. He saw a bunch of bikes in a nearby bike rack and asked if those bikes belonged to  the people who got hurt. No, I said, this was a very long time ago, those are other people's bikes, as I thought how within a few years, the students riding around campus won't have been born yet when the Bonfire fell. He wanted to see pictures of the bonfire both aflame and after it fell and grew quiet when he saw pictures of the collapsed pile. 

Sunday night as we lay in bed he said we needed to go to the police station and show them that picture and make sure they knew about this. I told him that the police and firefighters had gone out there and helped (I heard the sirens myself) and lots of people had done so much to help. (Update: tonight, Tuesday, he brought it up again as we lay down and asked to see pictures. We watched a Youtube video/slideshow with images very familiar to me but new to him.)

After our morning exploring campus we went to Aggieland institution the Dixie Chicken for lunch. Gotta start 'em young, right? ;) Then it was naptime for Rebecca so Kevin took her to the hotel and Daniel and I went souvenir shopping (dress for Rebecca, mini helmet for Daniel), got him a milkshake at the Chik-Fil-A he had seen and begged to go back to, a stop by a local running shop, and a grocery store run,then it was time to go back to the hotel and get ready for the main event.

Here we are all dressed up:

Before the wedding started Daniel told Kevin he wanted to give Paul and his bride Haley a message. He dictated and Kevin wrote, then Daniel signed. Here, his sage advice:

Where we were sitting we didn't have a clear view of the happy couple during the ceremony itself but once Daniel finally saw the bride he said "wow, she's so beautiful!"

Then it was on to the reception. We weren't sure how long the kids could hold out, so we just planned to play it by ear and stay as long as we could. Turns out we've got some dancing fools on our hands! The moment the dance floor was opened up to guests Daniel was ready to head out, Rebecca hot on his heels.

Every chance he got, Daniel wanted to dance with "Ms. Haley" in "the beautiful white dress." He asked if he'd get to see her again after tonight and I said yes, I'm sure we'll see her at the ranch and other family gatherings. He was disappointed to hear she wouldn't be wearing the beautiful dress though, and on the drive back to the hotel he said he was sending her an email on his LeapPad to make sure she got beautiful clothes!

When he wasn't busy pining after the bride, Daniel managed to get a few dances with the flower girl and even granted Mommy a few dances. Rebecca was a pretty enthusiastic dancer too and kept Daddy occupied. We managed to sneak one dance for just the two of us while our little dance partners were otherwise occupied.

All told, we didn't leave till 11-way past the kids (and my) bedtimes! We had a great time and I know the kids will be disappointed that we don't get to go to a big party like this every weekend.

The next morning we all slept in-I was the first one up at 9:30 and finally had to wake the others up so we could get out to brunch to see family again before we all headed our separate ways. How did I entice Daniel to leave his comfy bed? I mentioned that a certain bride was going to be there!

After brunch it was time to go home and we all slept well in our own beds that night. It was a fun weekend and the first of what I hope will be many times to take the kids to Aggieland. Yesterday he insisted on wearing his Aggie jersey to school :)

Every time we get the chance to spend time with my extended Daniel family I think how lucky I am to have such a big, close extended family. But this weekend it occurred to me that luck was only part of that, it also took a lot of people making the effort over the years to keep everyone connected. I want my kids to have the same experience I've had-to go to family reunions and run around with cousins (1st cousins, 2nd cousins, it's all the same to us) and to know those names on the family tree not just as people they happen to be related to but these wonderfully warm, kind, fun people whose company they enjoy. Looking back through years of family reunion and wedding pictures it's fun to see that the faces and fashions change but there's always that group of little kids playing together, a group of older kids doing their thing, and the adults visiting. Most of my grandparents' generation has passed on now but I like to think they'd be pleased to see the legacy living on.

Daniel is 5!

This week Daniel turned 5. My little boy is growing up!

We celebrated his birthday throughout the week. The weekend before we gave him his main present, a trailer bike. He's getting pretty fast on his balance bike (last year's birthday present) but can't go far on it so I thought he might enjoy being able to join me on rides. We snagged one in barely-used condition on Craigslist and took it out for a spin. It took a little adjustment for both of us and felt quite wobbly to me at first (don't see myself wearing clip-in shoes with this any time soon) but we got the hang of it and had fun. Looking forward to more biking adventures together.

The night before his birthday we had dinner at Fuzzy's Tacos at his request. But he mentioned that they didn't have balloons so I stopped by Kroger to get some balloons-Lightning McQueen for him, Minnie and Mickey Mouse for Rebecca. Aside from a brief moment of high drama when he accidentally let go and it floated up to the ceiling (before being retrieved by a helpful employee), dinner went well.

On the morning of his actual birthday we had his celebration of life at school. The tray in the middle of the room has 5 candles, one for each year, and the papers around the edge are the 12 months of the year. He carries the earth once around for each year of life and his teacher would talk about what he was doing at that age and pass around pictures we brought in.

That evening we switched from celebrating with young folks to a decidedly older crowd as we helped call a bingo game at an assisted living center for a senior community visit through the Dallas Area Young Lawyers Elder Law Committee. I'd taken Daniel with me before and he had enjoyed it so when I offered the change to go again he was enthusiastic. I baked strawberry cupcakes for the residents and they sang happy birthday to him and many gave birthday hugs. They enjoyed him and Rebecca and the kids enjoyed the attention. Afterward, the family headed out for burgers and milkshakes.

As befits his generous nature, he passed out cupcakes to all the residents in the room before taking one for himself.

Afterward we watched the slideshow our birth photographer had put together for us. He and Rebecca loved seeing how small they both used to be (we watched hers too) and Daniel liked sitting in my lap in the recliner in his room hearing the story of how after we brought him home, I took him in my arms and carried him up to his room and sat in that same recliner holding him. Of course, I told him, he was a lot smaller then and easier to carry! 

This weekend we did Daniel's big birthday party. As we've done every year so far we had his party at a local pool with party tent areas and a fun kid-friendly pool area. We enjoyed celebrating with so many friends and he and Rebecca had a great time. It's great that with them being at the same school they have the same friends and I love seeing that the older kids make her feel included.

Daniel made an interesting request for his birthday cake. He wanted a cake like Prince Wednesday's on Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. This was 1) oddly specific, 2) involving a minor plot point 3) and a minor character 4) on an episode we hadn't seen in months. I had to pull that episode up again to make sure we knew what we were talking about and he confirmed that's what he wanted-yellow cake, layered, with strawberries. I'm a good cook but never been much of a baker but I got some boxed cake mix, icing, and strawberries and hoped for the best. I looked at a screenshot of the Prince Wednesday cake as I prepped mine to make sure I was doing it right. My layers weren't as tall as the show's but otherwise I thought it was pretty close. Daniel was concerned it wasn't big enough but then decided it would do and ended up eating 2 slices at the party, so I guess it worked out!

As much as people talk about how great the youngest years are, as Daniel gets older I'm really enjoying how much more we can do together, how much more we can talk about, and seeing his personality shine through more as he grows into the person he's meant to be. He's a sweet, brave, thoughtful boy with a big heart and an inquisitive mind. He's a great helper and the best big brother Rebecca could ask for. We love our birthday boy and I'm excited about the adventures the next year holds for him.

O Canada: Victoria trip

A few weeks ago the kids got their first stamp in their passports (well, metaphorically anyway) as we took a family vacation to Victoria, BC. Last fall I settled on the Victoria 70.3 as my first half-ironman distance triathlon and we invited my parents to join to make it a vacation. Then, when my aunt and uncle accepted the invitation to come too, we had the makings for a great extended family Canadian vacation.

We flew from Dallas to Seattle (a flight which, with an overtired but refusing to nap or stay still Rebecca, felt even longer than it was!) then another short 30 minute flight from Seattle to Victoria, which gave us a nice aerial view of the beautiful scenery. Our first evening we strolled around the harbour (yes, that's how they spell it ;))) and enjoyed a nice seafood dinner.

Friday, our first full day, we took advantage of the beautiful, sunny, 60 degree weather to walk to breakfast in the harbour area.

Yes, Daniel and I are wearing boots. Representing Texas!

The Government Building...which was also beautiful by night, as a later photo will show

After that we went to the Butchart Gardens just outside of town. They were as beautiful as I remembered from a family vacation there when I was younger and really, iPhone pictures don't do it justice.

Rebecca peering into the quarry area:

Family pic in the Japanese garden:

Kids looking into Japanese garden pond:

The kids' favorite part of the garden experience was the carousel. I think they could have spent all day on that!

Afterwards we took the kids to the hotel swimming pool to play for a bit. Alas, Kevin also accidentally took his phone swimming, and it didn't enjoy the swim as much as the kids did.

Friday was Kevin's birthday so my parents and aunt and uncle graciously took the kids for the evening and Kevin and I went out for a birthday dinner at a restaurant called Olo. From what we'd read it sounded a lot like FT33, our favorite Dallas restaurant, and we weren't disappointed.

Saturday the rest of the family explored the Royal BC Museum while I went to the race site for packet pickup and to claim and then drop off my bike. Hearing the athlete briefing that walked us through the details of the race, seeing the course, and buying Ironman gear for the family made it all real: after months of training, tomorrow I was really going to do this. From what I hear, the museum was nice too, though the food truck lunch they had after was hit or miss.

That afternoon Kevin rested at the hotel with Rebecca while Daniel and I joined the rest of the family for a boat ride around the harbour. Daniel's favorite parts were the seal we saw playing in the water and the float houses in the water. Oh, and the seaplanes that kept taking off and landing. Apparently it's quite the active harbor, even as most of its use is now recreational rather than commercial as it once was.

While we were at the harbour Daniel also noticed "Plasterman," a street performer. We gave him some money to put in Plasterman's bucket and he was rewarded with the chance to pose with Plasterman.

That night Kevin went out to watch a Stanley Cup finals game with a Canadian crowd and the rest of us went for a predictable pre-race meal at the Spaghetti Factory. This meal was memorable mainly for learning the hard way that if the kids are going to share a meal, and the plates don't get split in the kitchen, the meal should be set in front of Daniel, not Rebecca ;). She immediately felt possessive of the plate of pasta set before her and was not a happy camper when we took half of it away. After many tears and a second order, all was resolved. We headed back to the hotel to get the kids ready for bed and after getting last-minute details ready, I was in bed not long behind them.

We got a hotel room suite that had a main bedroom area and a sitting area with a foldout couch. The kids did surprisingly well sharing the foldout couch. Here they are in funny sleep positions during the night.

The next day was race day. You can read about my day here. Here's a quick picture from the transition area before the start of the race. One thing that I had been surprised about was that the race started at 6am. I worried we'd be swimming in the dark but there was full sun by the time I got to the race site at 5. (Side note: thank goodness for thick drapes in the hotel room, or we'd never be able to get the kids to sleep!)

After a leisurely morning the family headed out to the finish line to meet me. The kids enjoyed playing on a playground conveniently located right there and I enjoyed seeing all those cheering familiar faces as I finished my race. 

No visit to Canada is complete without a mozza burger from A&W so we crossed that off the list after the race. Later that night we celebrated our last night in Canada with a yummy seafood dinner. On our walk back to the hotel we were treated to the beautiful night view of the harbour one last time.

Then the next morning we were up and out of the door by 5:30am to make our 8am flight. Kevin and Rebecca slept the whole way to Seattle while the rest of us enjoyed the views out the window.

After planning and looking forward to the trip for so long it's hard to believe it's over, but we had a great time and would enjoy returning to Victoria some day. Daniel asks almost every day when we can go back to Canada. It won't be right away, but we'll definitely be back!

International Dinner

Last week was one of the highlights of the Apostles Day School school year: the International Dinner. It's a celebration of the diversity of the school family and a way for the children to honor their heritage and put on a presentation for their families. The teachers and kids practiced for weeks getting their songs and dances ready. I was especially looking forward to this year's dinner, first because it was the first year to watch both kids, and second, because I had to miss last year's for a family funeral. The night did not disappoint.

The classes performed one at a time, youngest to oldest. Rebecca's toddler class was first. The kids sang "London Bridge is Falling Down" then danced to "Deep In the Heart of Texas." Rebecca participated, albeit looking back often to Ms. Vicki for guidance. Afterward she spotted us in the crowd and ran to me immediately, "Ma!"

Next was Daniel's class. They sang a few songs, including "This Is My Commandment," and danced to some Indian music. The unplanned comedy of the class's performance was when each kid one by one said which continent they were from (having recently learned them all). Daniel gave a creative answer ;)

After the class performances were over we enjoyed dinner with some friends. It was a fun night!

Kiddie Acres

A few weeks ago we traveled to Austin. When we went last year the kids loved their visit to Kiddie Acres amusement park so they were thrilled when we told them we were going back.

I have fond memories of my own Kiddie Acres visits as a child so I was excited to take my own children there. The rides are all just like they were in the '80s; it's like the land that time and liability insurance forgot. It's a very small park, only about 6-8 rides, and it's never been so crowded we've had to wait in line on any visit. It would be boring for an older child but is perfect for the preschool set. All the rides are targeted to their age, everything's close by, and you can do the park pretty thoroughly in an hour and a half. In contrast to the 5-point safety harnesses we see everywhere now, these rides just have metal chains to belt the rider in loosely.

The kids crammed plenty of action into our visit and rode each ride at least once, and favorites (boats, planes, cars, 2-3 times).

Starting off our day on the boats:

Rebecca did enjoy the cars, though her expression doesn't reflect it here!

Riding the carousel with Baba:

As you can see Rebecca's favorite color these days is purple. What's sweet is that on this ride, and several others, she went for the purple car/boat/plane and Daniel left the one he was in in his preferred color to join her. It was more important to him to be with her...I know, awww!

He did talk her into joining him in the black car this time:

Riding the ponies (which, unlike the other rides, are presumably not the same ones I rode as a child):

On the train with Baba:

It was a fun afternoon and I can definitely see many repeat visits in our future.

When I showed the kids these pictures of another little blonde-haired girl's visit, they swore it was Rebecca. No way it could be Mommy!

With a much younger Baba/Dad (and before I made the unfortunate acquaintance with vertigo):

The kids resemble me just a bit, right? ;)

Kiddie Acres: making little Daniel children happy since the early '80s!

What's new with Daniel

A few Tuesday nights ago, the kids had swimming lessons and we went as a family to Fuzzy's afterward for dinner. Daniel wasn't on his best behavior at the restaurant. He fidgeted almost nonstop, didn't listen when we asked him to do things, played with his food before finally eating it, and needed constant redirection. It wasn't a fun time for him or us. We've experienced that scene many times before, but lately, we can see it through a different perspective.

Daniel isn't deliberately acting out when he behaves like that.

He is a child with ADHD.

Attention deficit/hyperactive disorder, aka ADHD, is a neurological condition that affects a person's ability to stay on task, focus, and inhibit inappropriate behaviors. It's believed to be genetically passed down, and while Kevin doesn't have it, we believe his dad, while never diagnosed, probably did. In summary, in a person with ADHD, the parts of the brain which control executive function don't do their jobs. Signals get lost in the static, such that a child with ADHD can hear the instruction to put on his shoes but fail to process it and convert it into action.

So how did we arrive at this diagnosis?

For as long as I can remember, I've suspected Daniel might have ADHD. One of the first incidents that stood out to me was shortly after Rebecca was born. He was 2 1/2 and I was home on maternity leave and had plans to meet up with 2 friends and their kids at the aquarium. One family was running behind, so my kids and I waited with my friend and her kids. Her son, just a few months older than Daniel, stood patiently at his mother's side as we waited and I don't recall her once having to redirect him. Daniel, on the other hand, was constantly fidgeting and darting away from me into the crowd and I had to physically hold his hand to keep him by me.

The incident worried me, but when it's your firstborn, it's hard to know what's typical toddler behavior and what's not. Plus, with a newborn in the house, it seemed reasonable that the acting out might just be a bid for attention. Still, it made me nervous to take them both out by myself to crowded places.

His first year of preschool went pretty well and the reports we got home from the teacher were generally good with only a few behavior issues. The second year he was still a happy kid and made progress but his teacher expressed frustration several times that he could learn and accomplish so much more if only he had better focus and concentration. She also mentioned some annoying and disruptive behaviors he had developed including playing with spit in his mouth, fidgeting constantly, and making noises, among others. We had a lot of talks with him about this and we would generally see improvement for a day or so, but then we'd revert back to the same.

This past school year though, the wheels came off. The inattention continued and so did the disruptive and annoying behavior, which at times became defiant. His teacher, a seasoned pro, tried a lot of things with him and kept in touch with us, often sending home detailed notes about the behavior issues and how they were preventing him from learning. The notes were difficult and frustrating for us to read but what she described mirrored what we were seeing at home. It wasn't just an issue at school or with this teacher.

A few weeks ago we had some particularly challenging moments. First, I took him with me to Dick's Sporting Goods while I handled a quick exchange. He ran away from me in the store not once but twice and rather than come when I called him, he'd laugh and run away through the store out of my sight (alas, Mommy's a runner so I caught up pretty quickly). While this happened in an enclosed space, I was truly afraid of what could happen if he did this somewhere else. What if he ran away at a crowded public place? Or near a busy street? And what if I'd had Rebecca with me too and couldn't easily chase after him?

A few days later I took both kids to Walgreen's to take their passport photos. There was a 5 minute wait for our pictures to be finished and it was among the longest 5 minutes of my life as each kid squirmed away and tried to grab everything in sight. I felt like a broken record constantly repeating "put those up," "come back," "hold my hand," "hold each other's hands." It reminded me why I never run errands with both kids with me if I don't have to.

Between the reports from school and our own experiences it was clear the problems were escalating. I didn't want to let him or us go through years of frustration if there were solutions available. It was time to take action. 

In late January we scheduled a meeting with the kids' pediatrician to discuss our concerns. She referred us to a child psychologist for evaluation and behavior modification suggestions. Kevin and I each filled out an evaluation and so did Daniel's teacher. As expected, the tests confirmed that he had ADHD. Specifically, his results were consistent with the combined type of ADHD, meaning he has at least 6 of the characteristics of both the inattentive type and the hyperactive-impulsive type- a combo package, if you will, where the sum is definitely more than the parts. Along with that, he also displayed some characteristics of oppositional defiance disorder, a condition which commonly coexists with ADHD in children his age. She then referred us back to the pediatrician for follow-up.

One of the reasons we like the pediatrician is her conservative approach of not medicating unless necessary. She doesn't routinely prescribe antibiotics for ear infections and when we first met with her about ADHD, she said that while medication is the gold standard for treatment, she doesn't generally prescribe it for children who aren't yet in grade school. So when we met with her again  after visiting the psychologist and she felt that Daniel's symptoms were severe and negative enough to warrant medicating at his age, the recommendation carried a lot of weight for us. Between that and our own research on it, we agreed to start him off with a low dose of a stimulant medication then go from there.

For the past month Daniel took a dose of Adderal XR every morning. It's certainly not a magic wand but I can see that it helped him. When he's "on," he listens and follows directions better and isn't as fidgety. And even though it has worn off (or, as he puts it "run out of energy") by the time I pick him up from extended care in the afternoon, he can describe his school day in far more detail than he could previously. I suspect this is because his brain is "capturing" the memories better during the day when the meds are reducing the static in his brain. His teacher noted that the fidgety behavior had greatly improved but the inattention persisted.

As with many medications though, it comes with side effects, namely appetite suppression and difficulty falling asleep. Daniel eats breakfast before taking his pill and still seems to be eating his lunch pretty well at school but his dinner appetite is noticeably lighter most nights. Also, even though we put the kids to bed around 8 it's not unusual for him to still be awake till well after 10 some nights which understandably leaves him tired the next morning. 

After our appointment this past Friday, we have a new medicine for him now, Focalin, and will see if that addresses the inattention better and may wear off more easily so he can sleep better. Finding the right dosage and formulation of the right drug is a trial and error process, so it may be awhile before we determine the magic combination. But at least we're on the right track.

Starting medication isn't the only big change for him lately. In light of the issues he was having in the primary (pre-K) classroom this year, the director made the decision to move him back to the pre-primary class he had been in the past school year. While we knew a change may be in order, it's not the change we were expecting. We thought he'd go to the other primary class but once the director explained it, the move made a lot of sense. 

First, we've long noticed that in extended care, when all the ages are together, he seemed to gravitate more toward the kids a year younger than him, so now during the whole day he's with his emotional peer group and in his comfort zone. Also, that classroom has an assistant, so there's a 5:1 student/teacher ratio, meaning more help and closer supervision than in the older classes, when the kids are expected to be more self-directing. And while this was a step back to a younger class, the individualized nature of Montessori classes is such that we knew he could still be appropriately challenged academically. His current teacher picks 2 of the 3 works he does every day to challenge him and if he does those well, he gets to pick whatever he wants for the 3rd. He has always enjoyed the practical life works so he always chooses one of those as his "reward."

Daniel tells us every day he's happy to be in this "new" classroom and that he likes his medicine because it helps him to listen, and his teacher reports that he is doing better and learning. We're hopeful that between the two changes, the rest of the school year will go well.

The diagnosis brought many feelings for me. Worry for Daniel and the extra challenges he'll face throughout his life in school, work, and personal settings. Guilt at blaming him for behavior that wasn't his fault. Realization that throughout his school career, I'll have to advocate for him to ensure he's given the chance and tools to succeed. Determination to learn all I can about ADHD so I can be the best mom. Humbled by the task in front of him and us. Grateful for the vast resource of other ADHD parents who, like me, find themselves members of a club they hadn't planned to join, but are determined to rise to the challenge membership entails. Resolve to help him harness the power of his turbo-charged brain and find ways to use this difference as a strength as so many successful people with ADHD have done.

Odd as it may sound, though, another feeling was relief. Because frustrating as Daniel's behavior was, now we understood why he was doing it. He wasn't ignoring or disobeying us because he was a bad kid. In fact, it was probably as frustrating for him as it was for us when we had hard days. He really wants to please us and I'm sure it was frustrating to him when he couldn't. 

I'm grateful to the teachers who shared their concerns. It would have been easy to just set him in the corner and let him lose chances to learn but they cared enough to let us know what was going on. I'm glad we took their concerns seriously and followed up.

ADHD also meant that the challenges I was having with him weren't because I was a bad parent. I couldn't help but notice that other kids his age seemed to listen to their parents better, and that tasks like taking both kids to the grocery store or solo parenting while Kevin was out of town seemed a lot harder for me than for other parents I knew. If not for the feedback from the teachers, I'd have thought maybe it was just me.

Now, armed with this knowledge and some behavior management techniques the psychologist shared with us, we can address his challenges more effectively. And help him develop his strengths. I'm as Type-A, left-brain logical as they come, so while we'll have plenty of misunderstandings I'm fascinated to see what I can learn from him. What connections will he see with his non-linear thought processes that the rest of us miss? What gift will his hyperfocus enable him to develop and hone? 

Michael Phelps's ADHD enabled him to spend hours upon hours in the pool. It may be that he is the success story he is today not in spite of his ADHD but because of it. I've read ADHD described as having a racecar engine with bicycle brakes. But if we can help him, through medication and coping mechanisms, to apply the brakes and control the steering, imagine where that turbo engine can take him. I'm excited to find out.

For the record, I don't see this diagnosis as anything to be embarrassed about or pitied for, for him or for us. It's a medical condition, not a reflection of his character or intelligence. Being smart and having ADHD aren't mutually exclusive, he just needs a little help unlocking his brain's capacity and directing its power. ADHD doesn't put a ceiling on his potential. And frankly, even if it did, as children's health problems go, I know plenty of parents and would-be parents who would trade situations in a heartbeat.

Fortunately ADHD is also a condition that the medical community has learned a fair bit about and the medications available, while not perfect, offer significant benefit to most individuals with ADHD. It may be that someday he doesn't need medication, or can reduce his dosage, but for now, it gives him the best chance to unlock his potential and be his best self. I'm thankful it's an option.

It's a long journey and we're only at the start of it. But I'm glad we know more and have options. Most importantly, Daniel was a sweet, smart, thoughtful, funny boy before his diagnosis and he's a sweet, smart, thoughtful, funny boy now. He's the same great kid we've loved from day one, but now we know more and have better tools to help him grow into the boy and young man he'll become.

Rebecca is 2!

Earlier this month, Rebecca turned 2. Our girl is 2! The little newborn I brought home from the hospital is now 2. 

We celebrated her birthday much as we did last year, with a small party at home with family and a few friends. The kids had a great time playing with their friends and we enjoyed catching up over dinner with everyone. Rebecca's still not quite to the point of playing interactively with the other kids but she does enjoy their company a lot.

Her birthday brought a few other milestones as well. First, a real haircut. Last year I trimmed the back to keep it from getting too mullet-y but recently it had gotten long and I wasn't quite sure what to do with it. I mentioned it to my stylist, who has a daughter too, and she offered to trim Rebecca's hair for me. Rebecca sat in my lap facing me as the stylist trimmed away. I think the end result turned out pretty well. She looks more like a little girl and less like a baby. She's always been beautiful but it's fun to see her features take shape more and see her look more and more like herself, if that makes sense.

Last week also brought Rebecca's first day of preschool. Even before she was born we've always planned for her to join Daniel at Apostles Day School shortly after her second birthday. So now on weekday mornings, Kevin dresses two kids in blue pants and red shirts and drops them off, and every afternoon, I pick them both up.

So far, school is going well. She took a little longer to warm up to her classroom teachers than the extended care ladies; not a surprise, given that she's seen the extended care teachers on a regular basis when she's come with me to pick up Daniel, but hadn't spent as much time with the toddler class teachers. Her first day she was shy about using the potty in front of her classroom teachers (yes, she's largely potty-trained during daytime hours now, thanks largely to her nanny, Gena's, efforts) but she's warmed up to them more over the rest of the week, at least if her daily potty chart is any indication. When I pick the kids up from extended care she's happily playing with other kids, and so very proud to carry her school bag by herself like big brother does.

Here we are snuggling on her last day at home before school:

She's so proud of that bag that she also wants to hold it in her lap on the drive home. One day she pulled a colorful soccer program flier out of the bag and Daniel, thinking it was stickers, used various forms of persuasion to try to get her to share them with him:

"Rebecca those aren't just your stickers, those are your stickers AND my stickers."

"You have to share! Because I'm your big brother. And I love you!"

"Rebecca, give them to me, do you understand?"

I must admit, it's funny to hear him get annoyed when she doesn't do what he asks. Must be frustrating when someone doesn't listen ;)

While we're excited about Rebecca starting school it's a bittersweet milestone too. As the song says, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. Her starting school meant she isn't home during the day anymore, and that Gena isn't at the house 3 days a week anymore. When we posted an ad on Care.com we couldn't have hoped it would work out as well as it did, but she proved to be a wonderful fit for our family. The kids adore Gena and while we plan to ask her to babysit often, I know all of us, especially Rebecca, will miss seeing her on a regular basis. 

At her 2 year checkup earlier this month Rebecca weighed in at 23lb 3 oz and stood 34.25in tall, good for 9th and 65th percentiles. She's a healthy girl and the pediatrician was pleased with her development.

Her latest big development is potty training. She began to show interest last fall and once January rolled around we became more deliberate about offering the potty. A few weeks ago we switched from diapers to panties during awake times and most days she has only one or two accidents, if any. Naps and nighttime are still in diapers and will be until she learns to hold it longer and begins consistently waking from sleep dry. We may still have a ways to go but I'm impressed at her progress so far.

She is also still a good napper, napping 1-3 hours more afternoons than not. Don't know how long that will last, but we'll enjoy it so long as it does!

She remains as cuddly and affectionate as ever and will lean over to ask for "more kiss." Her favorite place to sleep? "Sleep Daniel room!" Of course, most nights they start out together but have to be separated, but it's cute that they want to be together.

But sometimes, she wants to sleep in Mommy's bed. Or, as she puts it, "sleep Ma room."

It's been a wonderful adventure so far, and I'm excited to see what's in store for us over Rebecca's 3rd year!