On July 21, my little man turned 4 years old! As in past years, we celebrated with a swim party at the Coppell Aquatic Center with school friends and a few others. Unlike last year, thanks to the polar vortex it was a little chilly that morning so we took the kids to the indoor pool area. It actually turned out just fine; the kids are the right age to enjoy the indoor area and it made it easier on the parents to keep everyone in sight.
Of course, no birthday party would be complete without cupcakes and singing "Happy Birthday!"
Daniel had a great time celebrating with his friends. It's been fun for me too to see his friends grow up alongside him.
The next week he had his "Celebration of Life" in his class at school. The teacher puts a (battery-operated) candle in the middle of the circle as the sun, and Daniel took a trip around the sun for each year of his life, then lit a smaller candle. For each year Ms. Susan showed the class pictures of Daniel at that age and told stories of what he did.
Our big gift to him this year was a balance bike. For months he told us that for his birthday he wanted a helmet (pronounced "heelmet"), a bicycle, and "a place to hang it up" in the garage like Mommy and Daddy's. After much research we found him the perfect bike. He was thrilled to get it and take it out for a spin. At first he was pretty much just walking with it but soon he got the hang of gathering momentum and coasting. He's getting pretty fast!
My parents also got him a Leappad tablet, which he calls his "iPad." At first I wondered if he might be a little too young for it but he figured it out pretty quickly and now loves it. Surprisingly to me he's actually pretty good about sharing it with Rebecca too. They love watching Daniel Tiger videos on it!
Last week Daniel had his 4 year checkup. He weighed in at 34lb 10oz and stands almost 40" tall, placing him in the 40th percentile for height and weight. The pediatrician was pleased with his development and growth. Daniel had to get 4 shots that day but was quite brave and even helped comfort Rebecca when she got one too.
He's generally a sweet big brother with Rebecca. He has him moments when he snatches toys away from her or pushes her down but he's also generous in sharing bites of ice cream with her and can often get her to eat when Kevin and I can't.
She adores him and loves playing with him. He's used that to his advantage once or twice ;)
Here he is in the car seat he rode home from the hospital in as a newborn. He's grown a bit since then ;)
A few more pictures of my sweet, funny, adventurous boy:
Watching Daniel Tiger with Mommy, cuddled up on the couch
At Sea Life looking at the shark tank with Rebecca
Helping Mommy make pasta from scratch
Sleeping in his pink robe
It's been another wonderful year with Daniel. I'm lucky to be his mom and excited to see what the next year with him brings! One thing it will bring is his first A&M football game. He and I are going to watch A&M play SMU next month and we're both looking forward to it.
It's late July, which means another annual Padre trip has come and gone. As always it was a fun time.
I have to admit this year's trip was kind of a big blur though. The kids being at the age they are, our time was pretty much spent keeping them safe and occupied. Not much time to just be in the moment and take it in. It was fun anyway, just not many distinct memories from it.
We went with my parents and our friends Nicole and Marko and their kids Alejandro and Gabi. Ale and Gabi are a few months older, respectively, than Daniel and Rebecca and the kids have always played well together. Of course my kids were thrilled to be with Mimi and Baba again. Rebecca immediately attached herself to my mom and stayed in her arms as often as she could over the next 5 days. Both kids loved having swimming with my dad and having guest readers for their bedtime stories.
Daniel has really made impressive strides in his swim lessons and I knew he'd enjoy the water. He and Alejandro really had fun tossing their toy boats into the surf and chasing them. They also had fun playing with sand toys.
Love this picture of Daniel and Gabi walking up from the beach together:
Rebecca enjoys bathtime and playing in the pool so I figured she'd enjoy the beach. It turned out, though, that she hated the feel of the dry sand. When we first tried to set her down on the sand she set a toe on it then bent her legs up and refused to stand on it.
Here she is realizing that this beach has sand, yucky!
Eventually she made her peace with the sand and decided in its wet form it was okay. She pretty much stuck to the surf area. She liked the tide coming in but wasn't a fan of water hitting her in the face.
Rebecca and the sand kiss and make up:
It rained our first full day there, which rained out the guys' fishing trip and forced us indoors for the afternoon. Fortunately the condo has an indoor pool so the kids didn't miss a beat.
One evening my parents and Marko's mom graciously offered to babysit the kids so we could get a parents' night out. We went to the place that has become our go-to "night out restaurant" over the last 3 years, Gabriella's. We sat out at a patio table to enjoy the nice weather and a few relaxing moments.
There were a handful of moments that did stick out to me for this trip, and one was our last evening there. Because we were planning to eat leftovers in the rooms, there was no need to hurry up to get ready to go out to eat or cook. So Kevin and the kids and I stayed out till after 7 and had the beach largely to ourselves. The kids had fun playing in the surf for awhile. Then the four of us dug a big hole and built a sand castle.
One of the few pictures of all four of us. Sidenote, check out Daniel's expression. Future heartbreaker there, people.
Having a "hole" lot of fun!
That night we watched the summer supermoon rise over the ocean.
And the kids enjoyed one last storytime with their beloved grandparents:
The guys did end up getting their fishing trip in the last full day we were there. Fortunately or unfortunately, they caught their limit so we had pounds and pounds of trout and redfish to try to eat. We gave it our best shot. Here's less than half the catch at lunch on our last day:
Yeah, it was a lot of fish. More than we could eat, really, but we gave it our best effort.
One last picture from that lunch. My parents had had to go on ahead to catch their flight so it was just us and the Rangels by this point. And all the kids sitting on an alligator because why not?
Running on the beach on my last morning I was thinking about past trips and future ones. The ones my parents took my brother and me on when we were growing up. The ones Kevin and I took with my parents pre-kids (I think the only year we've missed since we started dating 9 years ago was the year Daniel was born). Daniel's and Rebecca's respective first trips.
And thinking ahead, to next year when the girls aren't napping anymore and the kids are more comfortable in the water. Later years when the kids need to be coaxed out of the water, not into it. When Daniel and Rebecca are old enough to go fishing too. When boogie board and tubes make our packing list and sand toys stay home. When I have a running buddy or two for morning runs along the beach. When the kids are teenagers and wanting a night out on their own.
This year's visit was just another link in the chain going all the way back to my dad's boyhood in the valley. It was fun and we're already looking forward to next year's.
Also, unlike last year, we did not have to visit the emergency room this year. So bonus for that!
At the end of year celebration in Daniel's previous classroom, his teachers gave him the "Most Imaginative" award. Lately he has lived up to that title well.
It all started a few weeks ago. Mommy was trying to use the bathroom in peace and Daniel wanted to come in. I locked the door, which didn't sit well with him. But so far as I knew, that was that.
Later that night when I was lying down with him before bed I asked him if Mommy loves him all the time or just some of the time. Without missing a beat he replied "you didn't love me when you were in the bathroom!"
Then he said that while I was in the bathroom no one was taking care of him and the belly draggers came and took him away. They carried him off on their spikes which hurt his back and wanted to eat him. Then he said "here they are again, at my door!"
Lying there next to him in his bed, I felt like I was taking a pop quiz I was thoroughly unprepared for. I knew that one of these days he'd be afraid of imaginary creatures but I hadn't expected it this soon and hadn't thought about how to address it. His class was studying dinosaurs that week so I figured they must have talked about how some of them were "belly draggers."
So thinking on the fly I decided to address the belly draggers now presumably crouched in the doorway. " You silly belly draggers," I said, "this is Daniel, not Danube. You're in the wrong house!" I told Daniel that the belly draggers were looking for their boy, Danube, and had just come to the wrong house on accident. Then in another voice the belly draggers said "Oops, sorry!"
Then I told Daniel if the belly draggers ever came back he could shake his toy rattlesnake (which, by coincidence, a teacher had just given him) at them and it would scare them away. He laughed and seemed satisfied by that, and I patted myself on the back for a crisis averted.
A few days later I was reading to Daniel's class (one of the perks of self-employment, if I want to go read to my son's class in the middle of the day I don't have to tell anyone or ask permission, I just go). I asked his teacher if they had talked about "belly draggers" and she hadn't heard the term. I wondered where he got it from but didn't really think about again.
Then the other day he was showing us his yoga poses and he said he was going from downward dog to belly dragger. Hmm, I thought. Sure enough I asked one of the extended care teachers the next day and she said belly dragger was one of their yoga poses.
So on his own, he synthesized dinosaurs and belly draggers and turned them into something that came and stole him away while Mommy was in the bathroom. Imaginative indeed.
(For the record, I wasn't even in the bathroom more than a minute. Those belly draggers are sneaky and fast, apparently!)
The problem with going a few months between posts is that so much happens that catching up takes some work. Here's a brief(ish) epic novel update on what's new with us:
Rebecca
Rebecca is 15 months old now and full of adventure. She started walking around 13 1/2 months and now enjoys running away from Mommy and Daddy laughing as she goes. She's also fond of climbing onto any piece of furniture she can. This stage of toddlerhood is a scary one because abilities far surpass judgment. If Daniel wakes up early we can turn on a movie for him downstairs, go back to bed, and trust that he won't get into anything dangerous. But Rebecca, you turn your back for a minute she's up on the couch teetering precariously.
She's not talking much yet but she says "baby" and "mama" pretty often. She gestures and makes noises to express what she wants though so she is communicating, just not yet with words much.
She's a little pickier of an eater than Daniel was as a toddler but eats pretty well when she wants to. Sweet potatoes, oatmeal, eggs and pancakes are favorites. She likes to self-feed finger foods and tries to feed herself with the spoon, though her technique has room for improvement.
In a bittersweet development for me she self-weaned not long after her birthday. She got a cold, then a double ear infection (which I was slow to recognize because she was still a pretty cheerful baby). She went on a nursing strike during the cold and never nursed again. I kept offering and pumping to maintain supply for 3 months to keep the option open for her but despite my best efforts she wasn't interested. I nursed Daniel for 17 months and had hoped to nurse Rebecca at least that long too but my goal was to nurse as long as she wanted and that was what happened, albeit not on the timeframe I imagined. Nursing was one of my favorite parts of the infant stage for both kids so it's sad to realize I'll never do it again. I guess any end to that stage was going to be sad for me so maybe it's best I didn't realize at the time that it was our last time to nurse.
Rebecca's personality is really starting to come out now. She's got a silly streak and likes to flop onto the floor and roll around if we're there to watch. She's a cuddler too and will happily bring me a book and climb into my lap to read it with me. She also loves the pink Croc sandals I got her and will carry those over to me too to put on her, even if all she's wearing is a diaper. She loves stuffed animals and gives them hugs and when we read books she kisses the animals on the page.
Last week she had her 15 month checkup. As expected she's on the light end of the growth chart at just shy of 18lb, but standing 30.5" tall she's in the 50th percentile for height. Long and lean. She's a healthy, happy girl and right on track with her developmental milestones.
Daniel
Daniel's had an eventful spring too. A few months ago when Rebecca was ready to move into his convertible car seat we got Daniel a new forward facing harness/booster combo seat. For all the talk about how kids can't wait to forward face, Daniel wasn't that enthused about the change. He likes the new seat well enough but anytime he's in the car by himself he asks to ride in his old seat. He can still fit if I raise the shoulder straps for him. Guess he still likes to feel like the baby sometimes ;)
For the longest time he went through a phase where he named everything Silas. His monkey was Silas Monkey, his teddy bear was Silas Bear, etc. (Where did Silas come from? Who knows?) Lately we've gone a different way on names. The stuffed snake toy one of his teachers gave him as an end of the year present is named "Tookie" and other animals have gotten variants on that. Interesting choices!
He's a very energetic little boy but can also be a cuddler sometimes. At night we do storytime with both kids together then Kevin puts Rebecca to bed while I lie down with Daniel for a few minutes. He really enjoys that snuggle time (I do too!) and he's so sweet. He'll hug me then ask "How was your day? How was your night? How was your trip?" If I say my day was busy he replies "busy is good!" Hmm, we'll have to be careful about that.
He can write his name pretty well now (still has some trouble with lowercase "e", he wants to write it backwards) and many letters. He also counts well up to 20. He's doing a better job of coloring now too. He used to scribble randomly and now he colors the shapes. He's had a good year in school.
Last Friday was the last day of the school year for him and his last day in Ms. Susie's class. He'll still be there during the summer but he'll move up to the primary (pre-K) classroom with Ms. Susan. I know he loved Ms. Susie and classroom assistant teacher Ms. Amanda but I'm sure soon he'll be bonded with his new teacher and settled into the new classroom. It's a small enough school that he's already familiar with his new teacher so I think it'll be an easy transition for him. Friday was the blessing of the students and graduation for the kids moving on to kindergarten.
It was sad for me to see that some of the kids I've gotten to know over the years are moving on. To be a parent is to forever feel like I'm trying to hold running water in my hands as it drips through. I just want time to stand still for awhile so these kids will stay little. Hard to believe we'll be in that position of moving on from Apostles too in a year...or two. One idea we're strongly considering right now is keeping him at Apostles for private kindergarten. I think he would benefit from the personal attention and familiar surroundings, he and Rebecca would get to be at the same school for a year (easy for Mom and Dad!), and it lets us postpone the "start on time and be the youngest in the class or redshirt to be the oldest" decision one more year. But there's time yet to make that decision.
After the blessing of the students we went back to his classroom where the teacher presented each kid with a handmade photo memory book, a bag of treats, and an award. Daniel was named "Most Imaginative" for his creative storytelling and liberties with the facts, as well as his charming ways of trying to avoid trouble. When the teachers would have to take him aside to talk to him about "bad choices" or send him to the thinking chair he'd say "you're really pretty" and "I like your necklace/blouse/hair/earrings." This skill can either serve him well or get him into lots of trouble when he gets older!
The week before was International Dinner at school. The kids dressed up in traditional dress from their heritage and brought food and each class presented several songs and dances. For reasons I'll discuss later in the post I wasn't able to make the dinner, but Kevin took several videos. The kids were adorable, of course and they obviously worked hard to learn their routines. Apparently when Daniel's class started their routine he looked out into the crowd, realized I wasn't there, and told his teacher, wanting them to wait till I got there. I had a good reason for missing it but felt horrible about not being there, and him noticing and being worried :(
The kids sang a song:
Then did some country dancing:
Daniel wore the lederhosen outfit we got in Munich on our Europe trip in 2008.
Rebecca got into the spirit too with a homemade dirndl my friend's grandmother made for her.
Sandy Lake Amusement Park
Through the school year Daniel did Soccer Shots and TOT basketball classes at his school. Last weekend was the end of year "Shine Time" celebration when kids from many of the local TOT programs got to come together for a performance. The performance was at Sandy Lake Amusement Park, a neat little carnival ride-style amusement park that, despite being only about 10 minutes from the house, we had never been to. The kids loved when my parents took them to a similar amusement park in Austin, Kiddie Acres, that I had grown up going to so we figured they'd enjoy Sandy Lake too and they did. My cousin Debbie and her husband Gary live nearby so we invited them to join us and the kids enjoyed seeing them too.
Some of the rides were a little fast for Rebecca (some for Daniel too) but they both enjoyed the merry go round and the boat ride.
Daniel had fun performing and showed off his skills.
I'm sure more visits to Sandy Lake are in our future!
MomMom
This year we've said goodbye to several loved ones including Kevin's dad, our cat Todd and, about 2 weeks ago, my paternal grandmother, my last living grandparent and my children's last living great-grandparent. MomMom passed away peacefully in her home at the age of 92.
The funeral was on the Saturday morning after the Friday night International Dinner. I was in College Station Friday, having accepted the opportunity to speak at the Texas A&M Foundation's Women, Wealth & Wisdom conference that morning. I had planned to leave College Station early enough to get to the dinner on time but with the funeral in south Texas early the next morning I just couldn't see a way to drive 3 1/2 hours back to Dallas for the dinner then get up and drive 5 hours to the funeral, then drive back to Dallas. It was my first school event to miss and I hated to miss it, even as I knew I had a good reason for it. My heart sank that afternoon as I drove south when I looked at the time and realized even if I turned around and drove as fast as I could, I couldn't make it to the dinner. Instead, I continued south to my grandmother's visitation. He'll understand someday but it was a tough moment as a mom. I did enjoy seeing lots of family at the visitation and funeral. We're a pretty tightly knit extended family and even when it's for a sad reason it's nice to see everyone.
I had the honor of sharing some words about my grandmother at her funeral service on behalf of all of the grandchildren. Here's what I shared, give or take an ad lib or two:
I have the honor of speaking on behalf of the grandchildren to share a few memories about our grandmother. Of all the names and jobs she had in her life I think she loved answering to Grandma or MomMom best of all.
MomMom loved her family, and she loved being a grandma. She kept up with all 7 of us and always knew what was going on in each of our lives. She never forgot a birthday, and if one of us was getting married, graduating, or performing in a school play she was there cheering us on proudly. The details of our lives were important to her and she didn’t miss a chance to let us know. Her Christmas newsletters were testament to both her busy schedule of attending our events and her pride in our accomplishments and new stages of life. I'm sure there are people here today who have never met me but you know a lot about me from her newsletters.
She was thrilled to be a great-grandmother and was so excited to be looking forward to greeting two more great-grandbabies this summer. She was also a proud great-aunt to all of her great-nieces and nephews, and she kept up with their lives too. She loved being part of a big extended family. I know she would be pleased to know how many of you honored her with your presence today and she'd be glad to bring her family together one last time.
Even when her health made it hard for her to travel she still made the effort to be part of our lives. She always enjoyed our visits and when we couldn’t physically be there with her she was happy to take advantage of modern technology to bridge the distance. When my cousin Meredith got married a few years ago and MomMom was in the hospital she wanted so much to be part of the big day that she watched the ceremony through video conference from her bed so she could celebrate with them. She also enjoyed videochats with my 3 year old son Daniel and loved when he would give her kisses through the screen. Even though she didn’t get to spend much time with them she loved being part of my children’s lives.
When we were little and all of the grandkids were together at the ranch, if anyone was left out of a game MomMom would notice and find a way to make that person feel special. It’s funny, one of the memories that came to mind this week was of a time when she and DadDad joined my family for a trip to Padre Island. My little brother David was just learning to swim and was standing on the diving board of the pool working up the courage to jump in. I was impatient for my turn so being the helpful big sister that I am I gave him an encouraging nudge right off the diving board and into the pool. My helpful encouragement landed me a trip to time-out, but I didn’t have to sit in the corner alone. MomMom came over to keep me company. She didn’t want me to be alone so she sat there in time out with me.
She was never happier than when the whole family was together at the ranch for a holiday. She loved being the matriarch of the family and serving as head chef for the meals. And if you ever got to eat one of her meals then you know she was a wonderful cook. Her stuffed cabbage was a holiday treat (you know you’re a good cook when you can get people excited about eating cabbage) and she was so pleased that my cousin Mary Blake inherited her culinary skills and learned to make her recipe.
Sometimes when we were all there together with so many people in the house that we filled up the dining room table, a card table, and even the barstools I’d look over and she and DadDad looked so happy just enjoying everyone’s company. Sometimes they’d just sit back and take it all in, no doubt counting their blessings.
As much as she loved her grandchildren, the shining star in her life was DadDad. The other day my husband Kevin reminded me of the first time he met my grandparents. A few months after we started dating I brought him with me to MomMom and DadDad’s 60th wedding anniversary celebration. At one point we were all sitting together in the living room listening to MomMom and DadDad talk about the early years of their marriage and she was just beaming up at him holding his hand. They just enjoyed each other’s company, even after all those years.
Living out in the country was never her dream but after they sold the Mercury dealership and moved out to the ranch she traded city life for a job she described as “DadDad’s cheapest and best ranchhand.” Even after he passed away she spoke about him as if he were still there because in her mind he was. The two of them enjoyed 67 years of marriage and set a great example for the younger generations to follow.
MomMom loved her family and she loved being a grandma. She was the heart of our family, the one who made sure everyone was included, that everyone felt special. I’m grateful that longevity runs in the family so we could enjoy her company for so many years. I think I speak for all of the grandchildren when I say that whether we called her MomMom or Grandma, we definitely considered ourselves lucky to call her ours.
At the ranch last Thanksgiving. She was in high spirits that day and happy to be there with everyone.
With the love of her life at Kevin's and my wedding
"Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go"
Today we said goodbye to our 18 year old cat Todd. His health and weight had gone downhill significantly in recent months so this morning I took him on the one-way trip to the vet clinic.
Todd joined our family back in Labor Day weekend, September 2001. I had just moved to Dallas and started law school. My "family" at that point consisted of myself and my other cat Tim, whom I had adopted in college. I thought Tim would benefit from a playmate so I went to the SPCA shelter downtown to look for cat to adopt.
There were a lot of cute kittens but I was looking for an older cat. I noticed a big gray 6 year old tabby with beautiful green eyes and a handsome white face who quietly but assertively commandeered his kennel and padded confidently to the food bowl as the other cats deferred. He seemed cuddly and sweet and the notes left by his previous owner painted a picture of a gentle, easygoing cat whose eviction from his prior home had come due to incompatibility with a new puppy. I paid his adoption fee and took him home.
Tim and Todd didn't immediately hit it off and seemed a little wary of each other but soon they were friends, wrestling, playing, and lounging together. Being cats, they were content to keep to themselves pretty often but got along pretty well.
His encounters with my parents' lab Penny, however, were less cordial. Penny was thrilled to meet him and expressed her enthusiasm by bounding her big yellow lab self over to him, barking excitedly, and licking her new friend. Todd expressed his displeasure by hissing, clawing, and snapping at her. Call it a mixed grade on "playing well with other animals."
He was extremely cuddly and affectionate with me and got along with Kevin but generally made himself scarce when company was around. He was an introverted kitty and never happier than when he had my undivided attention. Cats are said to be aloof, and people say if you adopt an older animal they won't bond to you like a puppy or kitten would. Well, this old cat was the most affectionate pet I've had in 35 years. He loved to sleep next to my bed (after Kevin and I got married and he was banished from sleeping in the bed itself) and I'd almost trip over him when I woke up because he wanted to greet me immediately. He waited for me to get out of the shower so he could lie on my feet while I dried my hair and put on my makeup.
Sometimes his attentiveness crossed over to annoying and I'm convinced he can't have gotten underfoot that often on accident. I even learned to walk cautiously in the dark so as not to trip over or step on him. And I don't think I own a pair of jeans that doesn't have at least one snag in them from his claws. But his flaws were outweighed by his sweetness and it took little to make him purr and nuzzle me with his head (alas, to my chagrin, even if I was wearing black slacks, which he'd cover with fur as he'd brush past).
Here he is at his healthy (well, chubby) normal weight:
I was curious how the cats would handle the change when the kids came along. To my surpise my fiercely devoted introvert actually seemed surprisingly eager to play with the kids. He and Rebecca especially enjoyed each other's company and until a few weeks ago he seemed to find his way to where she was playing quite a lot. Babies and preschoolers aren't always gentle but Todd was pretty patient with them. I never saw him bite or scratch the kids even when his tail or fur got pulled.
Rebecca loved to find him hiding in my closet lately:
Daniel kissing him goodbye this morning:
I'm sure it must have started sooner but I didn't really realize Todd was declining until after Christmas. That's what having 2 kids under 4 to chase around will do. He had enjoyed napping under the (real) tree and had the sap-covered fur to prove it. I tried to brush the tangles out but that seemed to hurt him so I gave him a bath instead. It didn't help and since the tangled knots didn't seem to bother him I just left them as they were. He used to be very particular about his grooming and took it upon himself to keep not only his own coat impeccable but Tim's as well.
When he was in the tub I realized how thin he had gotten. Gone were the rolls of fat that used to hide his ribs. He felt half his weight. And while he used to mightily protest his baths this time he was too weak to make more than half-hearted effort to climb out. I knew he wasn't eating as much as usual but with 2 cats it's impossible to know who's eating and who's not without watching the bowls all day.
Last month I took him to the vet for an evaluation and learned he had dropped from his regular 16 pounds to 7lb 2oz, Rebecca's newborn weight. At that visit there was no obvious need to take immediate action but I left knowing that one way or another, Todd's last day was drawing nearer.
Over the past weeks he seemed to get thinner and more withdrawn. I realize thinking back that he must have stayed upstairs on the carpet because it was warmer for him than the cold wooden floors, though he was always happy when I'd turn on the fireplace for him.
Despite his obvious decline it wasn't an easy decision. I worried that I might pull the trigger too early and rob him of some good days or weeks or worse, that I might delay too long and cause him unnecessary suffering. He wasn't eating much, drank lots of water perhaps as a sign of kidney issues, was having toileting issues, and spent most of his time huddled in my closet or on the stairs. Every morning I woke up expecting and frankly hoping to find he had passed peacefully during the night to relieve me of the burden of having to make that decision. This week I decided it was better to act a little too early than to risk being too late and made the call.
Last night I held him in my lap for hours and listened to him purr happily. I wondered, not for the first time, if I was doing the right thing. Then this morning, Kevin and the kids told him goodbye and I wrapped him in a towel and cuddled him in my lap for the short drive to the vet's. I had decided that for this trip we would forgo the cat carrier, which always made him anxious. The song on the radio, fittingly, was Let Her Go.
I asked the vet tech to weigh Todd before we went back to the procedure room. If he had maintained his weight or even stayed close I'd have seriously considered canceling. But he was down to 6lb 4oz, a significant loss in just 4 weeks. I knew waiting any longer meant running the risk of a painful, not peaceful end and I owed my faithful old friend better than that.
We went back to the room and waited for the vet to gather the needed equipment. After 12+ years my remaining time with Todd was now measured not in days or even hours, but minutes. Seconds.
I thought back to some of our good times together. When he used to cuddle on my lap while I'd study, or sleep on my bed. When he and Tim kept me company during early labor with Daniel. His terrible fight skills with Tim and how slowly and deliberately he would move his open mouth at Tim as if to say "I.am.going.to.bite.you!" Only Tim's equally poor fight skills kept their scrimmages remotely competitive.
Then a knock on the door, the vet came in, and our time was up. The actual procedure itself was fast and as easy and peaceful as falling asleep. I wrapped him in a towel and held him. It took less than a minute. The vet left and gave me some time to say goodbye to Todd. I took his collar, clipped some fur to save, and went back home to what is now a 1-cat household. I've got a scratch on my wrist and hand from when I had picked him up that morning to carry him to the car. The last scratches I'll ever have from my Todd cat.
We'll miss our sweet old "Todders" but I'm glad I could give him the peaceful end he deserved. I had been talking to Daniel in preparation for a few weeks about how Todd was very sick and soon he was going to go to live at Jesus' house. As he says "we're a little bit sad and a little bit happy."
I feel sad that Rebecca won't have any memories of him, and Daniel might not either, but both kids' first word was "cat." He's a part of their early years. And a big part of my adult life to this point. He moved with me 4 times and learned to share me with Kevin and two young kids and through it all he was always my buddy, just happy to be near me.
Farewell old friend. We love you and will miss you.
